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Arnab’s Doodles

A blogger gets his hands on Arnab’s notepad at the PM’s New Year’s Eve editor’s meeting.

Arnab-Goswami-Times-Now

Greetings my fellow countrymen! Myself I am Anand Rangarajan. Ranga for you. I work at Doordarshan which is falling under the Ministry of I&B as you know. I am cameraman and sound-recordist rolled-in-one for close to 30 years, right since the time of Gitanjali Aiyar madam. You have seen the quality of my work on DD News many times I am sure?

Anyway, my daughter Vasantha is also working in Ministry and so is my other daughter Geetha – in Urban Development and Panchayathi Raj respectively.

One day they both said to me during mealtime: “Why don’t you come into the cyberworld and start a blog like us, Appa?”

“Tch, where is the need for an old man like me”, I said. “Plus you always need to tell something exciting to the world, isn’t it, otherwise who will read it?”

But they’d hear none of it and even created an account for me on WordPress.

For two whole months, lord knows, I didn’t even touch it. Nothing exciting has ever happened to me, so where was the need?

Then yesterday dear friends, something truly exciting happened! Honestly, I am not joking! And only now I understand why people write blogs – there is this need in every man, woman, child to tell the whole world what’s the exciting thing that has happened to them!

And so dear readers this is my first post on my blog. I hope you like it. If not, then come what may please don’t write nasty nasty things down below. I am a god-fearing teetotaller with family and daughters. Once Badri my colleague – a teleprompter engineer – showed me an article by some gentleman named Aakar Patel on an internet newspaper called Firstpost. Lord Ayappa! The kind of things people had written below – oh, it took me one whole week to recover. So please be gentle and forgiving to this old man is my humble request to you, dear reader.

I begin now. This is exactly what happened:

Two days ago, our new boss Shri Manish Tewari-ji, summoned us and asked us to take all our gear over to PMO quickly. The PM had called a New Year’s Eve editor’s meeting and we had to cover it for the evening news. All hot-shot editors and anchors would be there, he told us, and we had to make sure we gave equal time to each.

But, sir, I asked, what about Dhingra and his team, as they, not us, usually covered 7RC and 10JP? Boss told me Dhingra and four others had been suspended indefinitely for not editing a PM clip properly. So it was left to me and Sharma and Kharbanda to handle this.

Anyway, we lugged all the gear to PMO, where Mr Narayanaswamy accosted us and enquired if we were the carpenters he had asked for. When we said no and told him why we had come, he directed us curtly to the conference hall. Inside, all the famous editors were already sitting. So many faces I recognised – I even smiled at some. I spotted Mr Goswami and Mr Sardesai and Mrs Ghose and Ms Dutt and Mr Aroor and so many others. There were newspaper editors too, like Mr Ram and Mr Gupta. They were all chatting and giggling and gossiping. In this pleasant atmosphere, I and my team set up our camera and other equipment. Soon we were ready.

The PM entered the room and suddenly there was silence. In fact, the silence lasted for a long time even after the PM had taken his seat. I looked enquiringly at Kharbanda but he indicated that this was normal and the camera should be kept rolling.

Half an hour went by. The PM spoke or not I’m not in a position to tell you – because, dear readers, it is evening time and I wouldn’t lie to you: I must have dozed off – this while standing behind the camera! Sharma elbowed me and I opened my eyes in panic. Anyway, nothing much was lost – everyone in the hall was bored to death. They were nodding their heads but so lazily. It was sheer torture for them I could tell.

After 40 minutes, Mr Narayanaswamy barged in and announced that everyone should proceed towards the lawns for drinks and snacks. There was nearly a stampede, I promise you! The room emptied within seconds. Mrs Ghose even forgot her vanity case. When everyone except my team had left the room, and Kharbanda and Sharma were packing the equipment, without thinking I found myself strolling behind the chairs where these editors and anchors were seated a minute ago. Every chair had a Bisleri opposite it on the rectangular table, as well as two Nataraj pencils and a plain GOI notepad. It was the notepad that interested me. Quickly, I tore off the facing pages of the notepads of as many editors as I could before two SPG commandos came in and started looking suspiciously at us. Shortly afterwards, we carried our equipment and left the hall.

Oh, what a long story, dear readers, but believe-you-me, this was just the preface! My first blog is not about me, or this story; it is about those notepad pages of the editors that I managed to tear off and purloin in the nick of time! The subsequent blogposts – now that you know the background story – will be much shorter I promise you.

You want to know what those learned fellows had been scribbling in their notepads while the PM was delivering his speech? Ah, now I’ve got your attention!

So here is what I’ll do: I’ll post one notepad page for every blogpost of mine – oh, believe me, I have so many pages to last me months – of Barkha, of Sagarika, of so many others! But for now, for my first blog post, I have decided to start off with the best of the lot – and it comes from your favourite hero: yes, dear readers, none other than the fast-track court himself, Mr Arnab Goswami!

Here it is, Mr Goswami’s notepad page:

Arnab-Goswami-work-list

 

How about that, eh – an exclusive that even Mr. Goswami will be proud of!

I hope to be back, dear readers, with lots more notepad pages and a glimpse into the inner-most feelings of our heroes and heroines.

“Rajdeep! Rajdeep!” I hear you shout, “Barkha, pleeeease,” “Shiv!” I hear you scream! Ha-ha…you’ll have to wait for my second post.

Meantime, mind it, and a happy new year!

Contact-ranga

 

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  • Mehras21

    Hahaa brilliant!!! Hit the spot, esp. that caravan font!!! Next, rajdeep and barkha’s doodles pleeeeease…can’t wait!!

  • Rahul Bhatia

    Heh heh heh heh

  • Bharathi A

    Superb !!!!!

  • Shree

    hahaha! I must tell u this was amazingly ‘exiciting’ stuff! :D

  • Ajay Singh

    Just Awesome !!

  • rakesh

    sir.it was a hilarious piece, gonna follow ur next post

  • Stormy

    Phuleeez !! When is the next one due ??? Looking forward to Barkha (bak-bak) Dutt, Ratdip Sardesi not forgetting the ever pompous Corn(y) Thapar !!!

  • Sagar

    nice one…my first blog too as a reader…i laughed and smiled…good one

  • http://ioretradingindia.blogspot.com/ Anil Kohli

    Anand Ranganathan,

    You just delivered a sucker punch. Thank you.

  • http://twitter.com/sureshnakhua सुरेश नाखुआ

    Awesome – Must Read

  • http://www.facebook.com/dinesh.parikh Dinesh Parikh

    Ha ha U made my day dear sir, my wife was so angry on me since yesterday eve for not taking her for Dinner, she read your blog and my God she is ROFL ………thanks once again .. looking forward for the next one :-)

  • sunil

    Time stop,waiting for ur second Time Machine.

  • Abhishek

    Please post the second post soon.

  • siddhi

    Arnob’s face embossed on currency coin!!- good dreams…before-after sketch of Mr Suhail was funny…It was a really really good blog n i hav to say tht u r a rich man Mr Anand , these scribbles r actually a treasure…

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1492963848 Praneet Jain

    Sir hurry up! LOL – Arnab The Hero !

  • http://twitter.com/asiasif Asif

    Good ! One of the best.

  • Indian

    Anand, I must say you have eloquent writing skills. Nice read.

  • raviklp

    What a wonderful and humble first blog sir… Mind blowing :)

    The sponsored media lacks the basic courtesy in presenting the news. All the want is to sensualize the matter and talk anti-Hindu in a country of hindus…

    keep up the great work. Have been a fan of you on twitter. Shall follow you everywhere :)

  • AD

    Hahahahahahahaha… OMG! Best parody ever. Absolutely friggin hilarious & the doodle & article so professionally written. Brilliant.

  • http://twitter.com/de_prash prashant

    good one !!!

  • http://twitter.com/anilvettathu Anil Vettathu

    Are these doodles real?

  • Sudhir

    Is the notepad page real ? or is this blog a figment of imagination .. sorry I lost myself .. hillarious blog though :)

  • Randhir Singh

    I sincerely doubt Arnab did this………!!!!!!!!??????????

  • prakashji

    Maino in Cayman islands

  • Guru

    All your readings are so big that at least I feel much disappointed to even read… I have never completed one: please allow me to read one at least :)

  • rajeshwari

    Gr8. Eagerly waiting for the next one

  • Nishant

    Mr. Anand looking at your and Arnab’s pics above, I feel Arnab is your look alike.
    Btw, I like your articles very much. Keep up the good work.