Long live the king, oops sorry I meant the Kingmaker. Good to see you talking about Ms Gandhi with respect. But at least get the gender right.

My apologies. Will I get a royal pardon? Enough with the dynasty jokes. I’ll have you know that in the Congress party, they don’t believe in dynasty. 

Aah, that must be the reason why there’ve been only four generations of the family as Congress president. Even the Tudors would be proud. Okay fine, say what you will, but it’s not the Congress’ fault if there’s a family of gifted politicians at its helm. And instead of being a naysayer, why don’t you give Madame Sonia credit for being Congress president for 15 years.

Woah, nice. So is she going to float down the Ganga a la the Queen’s little floating ceremony down the Thames? I’m going to ignore that snide comment, because the Gandhis don’t believe in spending money excessively. Don’t underestimate Sonia G, she is after all on the Forbes list of most powerful women in the world. And not to forget that she was also on Time’s list of 100 most influential people in the world in 2007.

Okay so let’s get down to brass tacks. How did the king-maker get where she is? I didn’t know she was a politician. Well, this isn’t the first time she refused to be prime minister. After Rajiv Gandhi’s assassination, the party had begged her to become PM. But she had refused then and gone into Great Garbo-esque hibernation. But one cannot deny one’s fate for too long. And the hand beckoned once again in 1998, and this time the lady didn’t shy away. While she might not have been a politician, she’s the one who spearheaded the party when it was in the gutter and struggling to survive after its worst ever defeat in electoral politics and took over as the Congress President in 1998. When she took over the Party was ruling in just four states. By 2004, she had mustered enough support to jolt the NDA out of its India Shining trance and exit polls glory.

Oh, talk about being to the manor wed. It’s people like you who keep questioning her credentials. And harping on her foreign origin. If it wasn’t for her, Congress might never have won in 2004. And just to show that she’s not power hungry, she’d displayed her love for renunciation and gave away the seat of ultimate power- the PM’s post.

And thus was born the king-maker. Say what you will, but you have to give her credit that she didn’t jump at the chance of leading the country and instead nominated Manmohan Singh to the post.

What’s nice about the turbaned one is that he never argued and immediately hoisted the crown on his head. While poor Pranab stood in the sidelines and watched petulantly. Well, he’s got the Rashtrapati Bhawan as a consolation prize.

So she’s also Lady Bountiful. Well, she is a good human resources manager. But that’s not the only quality she possesses. Borrowing a Roman reference, she believes that Caesar’s wife should be above suspicion – both in letter and in spirit. On March 23, 2006, she had shocked even her worst detractors when she resigned from the Lok Sabha and the National Advisory Council in the wake of the office of profit controversy. And while you can cock an eyebrow at her actions, her people in Rae Bareli voted her back later in May that year.

Yes of course, Madam can do no wrong. But are you telling me there were no career politicians or Congress veterans who would have made better Presidents than her? Nothing like that, before her Sitaram Kesri was the Congress President.

For a year, wow. And why was he ousted from the post? Well, after the rout in the 1998 general elections, when Congress was in the doldrums there was a groundswell of support for Sonia Gandhi to take over as party president. Kesri’s exit was meticulously planned by party stalwarts with chief troubleshooter and current President of India, Pranab Mukherjee playing a leading role in the whole exercise. Of course, people will talk and writer and journalist, Rasheed Kidwai in his book 24 Akbar Road: A Short History of The People Behind The Fall And Rise of The Congress writes, “The next chapter of the power struggle was put into motion. Worried CWC members held a series of secret conclaves to work out how to ‘install’ Sonia at the helm. Pranab Mukherjee, AK Antony and Jitendra Prasada were given the task of sounding Kesri out about retiring ‘gracefully’.”

I heard that poor delusional Kesri believed that as long as he was the elected chief, nobody could touch him. Well, it’s what the people wanted and Kesri should have bowed out gracefully. He was forced to call a Congress Working Committee meeting on March 5, 1998 to dissect the reasons of the party’s defeat in the Lok Sabha elections. And the meeting gave him a pretty clear idea of what the party wanted him to do. And on March 9, 1998 he submitted an informal resignation only to withdraw his statement later. He said he would resign only if that was what the All India Congress Committee members wanted. The ever-obedient Pranabda read out a strongly worded resolution asking Kesri to immediately step down. And what is the AICC’s wish was Kesri’s command and it was out with Kesri and in with Sonia Gandhi. All very legit, I’ll have you know. It was a “Constitutional coup”. And it was 15 years ago, that Madam took over as the Congress President – on March 14, 1998 to be precise.

So, what about the crown prince? He’s been anointed as the Vice President of the Congress Party right? Well, not exactly. Sonia still is the matriarch of the Party and it’s in fact the party who created a new post called the Vice President at the chintan shivir so Rahul baba can adopt a larger role.

Is that when sonny had his “power is poison” moment and mentioned how his mother cried the night before he was anointed? Make fun as much as you want, but he left many with misty eyes and running noses. And to show how dedicated he is to the cause and doesn’t believe in dynasty, he has also said that he doesn’t want to become the Prime Minister and neither does he want to get married. Just so that he can put an end to the cycle of dynasty rule in India.

So then who will his mother give her handloom sarees to? I’m not even going to humour that with an answer.

Okay then, so when’s his mummy going to resign and crown him the next king? Who knows. As of now she’s showing no signs of moving off her seat.

Do sing: Bruno Mar’s “I want to be on the cover of Forbes magazine, standing next to Oprah and the Queen”.

Don’t read: Hamlet, the clown prince.

Image By: Abhishek Verma