Know Your Candidates: Moon Moon Sen

Everything you wanted to know about Moon Moon Sen’s political credentials but were afraid to ask.

WrittenBy:Shovon Chowdhury
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The political career of Moon Moon Sen began in 1984 with Andar Bahar, which gave her widespread national exposure. Her other notable achievements include Zakhmi Dil, 100 Days and Love At Times Square – in which she plays Sweety’s mother. She has worked in Hindi, Bengali, Tamil, Telugu, Malayalam, Kannada and 16 other languages.

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She was sitting one day with West Bengal Chief Minister Mamata Banerjee, when Ms Banerjee asked, “Why don’t you become an MP?”, and she said, “Sure, I could do that”. Subsequently, this was announced on TV. She hopes to represent the people of Bankura in West Bengal, famous for terracotta horses which resemble giraffes. She has stated that she will be using her glamour to serve the people. In response to this move, Opposition parties have announced a variety of high glamour candidates, including magician PC Sorcar and music legend Bappi Lahiri, making the West Bengal Lok Sabha elections the most entertaining elections in the history of independent India.

Her Communist Party of India (Marxist) opponent, who chose to remain anonymous, has condemned the move. “For 34 years I have provided a thin layer of white dhoti to cover up the activities of my followers”, he said. “I am confident that both me and my dhoti will be re-elected this time also.” Others are not so sure. “The hands of the CPM are black with sin”, said a local analyst. “Also the entire Politburo is currently at a Chintan Shibir in Stalingrad. This is not a good sign.”

In an interview with ABP News, Ms Sen has informed the public that she has identified heat as the key electoral issue in West Bengal. During a previous rural visit, her skin had suffered, leading to extensive peeling, but she rectified matters with three days of cream and massage at Rosie’s Parlour. She will be tackling this issue during her campaign by avoiding dust, bathing early every morning and wearing light cotton sarees. She will not be carrying face packs, but she will carry a bottle of ghee. She will be keeping her hair open after bathing in the morning, after very light towelling, for a cooling effect. She will have a light lunch of rice and mashed potatoes and rock salt,with fresh vegetables from local villages. After lunch, she will splash water on her face, apply a light moisturiser, and change into another cotton saree, most probably Tangail. She has expressed a preference for fabric that breathes.

In the evenings, at big meetings, she will be wearing chiffon. She will also be utilising gamchhas – a local Bengali towel with limited drying capabilities – although she has not specified exactly how she will be using them. Speculation is widespread, and many villagers have offered their own for her use. “We will remain wet if necessary”, said Pintu Chatterjee, an unemployed youth of Village Padmapukur, “but the march of democracy must go on”.

Ms Sen has been accompanied on her campaign rounds by her daughters Riya and Raima. Raima has blown kisses at the crowd, while Riya has waved shyly. During a recent visit to village Shyamapore, local devotees poured water over 3 kilometres of road to minimise dust. This has meant that many local villagers had to forego bathing, but the mood remains buoyant. “All of us are slightly stinky but it was totally worth it!”, said an ecstatic villager. “We haven’t had so much fun since a local headman tried to run away with his buffalo! In any case, we don’t need baths, because most of us have given her our gamchhas.”

“In the absence of industry, agriculture and law and order, the TMC is totally committed to the entertainment of the people of West Bengal”, said a Trinamool Congress spokesperson. “Ever since the demise of Jyoti Basu, West Bengal politics has been lacking the glamour factor. Superstar Uttam Kumar passed away long ago, and Sourav is not taking an interest. Didi herself cannot do everything. Her hands are full searching for Maoists. Ms Sen has a long tradition of service to the people. Her mother performed magnificently as a politician in the motion picture, Aandhi. We are hoping that she will do the same.”

Raised in the lap of luxury, daughter of the legendary Suchitra Sen, descendant of the Tripura royal family, related by marriage to Maharani Gayatri Devi – will Ms Sen be able to handle the rough and tumble of Indian politics? She remains confident, and has reassured her well-wishers.

“Everyone is worried about my skin”, she said in an interview with The Times of India. “But if I eat and sleep right, that will get me through.”

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