In India, political party spokespersons are expected to defend the party line no matter what, because that’s their job. If you sign up to be part of a team you have to back them. That’s the primary contract. Rationality, honesty and facts come later. It requires constant contortions and somersaults, sometimes within a few minutes; like the Congress’ Ajay Maken – from defending an ordinance, to tearing it up and throwing it away quick as a thought, before you could say – Rahul, stop! That kind of loyalty is at the cost of individual credibility, which is why not many people I know take party spokespersons seriously.

But what’s your excuse?

When a regular writer, journalist, columnist or public voice – which is pretty much anyone on social media – defends something unreasonable or advocates something clearly harmful, it’s a little worrying. You have to wonder, is this because the person is guarding his economic interests by toeing an organisation line or is the person just insane? It’s a slippery slope. We all have our moments of irrationality triggered by adrenalin, ambition, love, greed etc. So it’s important to reflect.

Remember when Michelle Obama called on America to eat healthy and advocated greens and nutritious foods? The right wing pounced on her like she’d shot someone in the face (which Dick Cheney in fact did). How dare she attack America’s liberty. Eating blubber, being obese and contracting diabetes is as American as it gets. It’s the land of the free and fattest kids on earth. All true. Can’t argue with it, but seriously? A call to eat healthy was a liberal conspiracy because, you know – In Lard We Trust.

Watch this video and decide what you make of it.

Here is a report on that beacon of brilliance, Sarah Palin, attacking the anti-obesity campaign because who wants to be able to touch their toes when you can always put your foot in your mouth.

Conservative heavyweight, Rush Limbaugh said: “I know First Ladies have to do things and they’ve gotta be altruistic or charitable or, you know, like learning to read or don’t do drugs or whatever, but seriously, what are her qualifications?” Also, “If you’re Michelle Obama and if you are convinced the country has a morbid obesity problem among the youths, isn’t the point that they should be hungry?  Sorry, folks, you can’t go on a diet without being hungry.”

Are you blown away by how idiotic they sound?

Some issues in life are basically non-partisan. You can’t say it’s a bad idea – like the Swachh Bharat Abhiyan, or a campaign to eat healthy food (vegetables and fruit) and breathe clean air.

When Prime Minister Modi invites someone to join the Swachh Bharat Abhiyan, no one in his/her right mind can say – no I won’t back it because it’s a bad idea. Sure, people can, and have attacked him on it being a photo op and insincere, but you can’t attack the cause. Which is why it was brilliant of him to invite people across party lines to join the campaign. The incident with Shashi Tharoor, followed by Congress’ churlish reaction made them appear more pathetic than ever before. You can’t say,“No! I think it’s a bad idea to be clean because it’s my right to be dirty and I like lolling around in the gutter because you know, Liberty, Freedom and Faeces.”

The air quality in our cities and especially Delhi is of grave concern. Chemicals and smoke that Diwali crackers emit are alarming too.

On Diwali I did light fireworks. I have nieces and nephews. I tried to give the 5 to 9 year-olds in my family the – it’s not good for our environment and our lungs chat, but they insisted. So I took the easy way out and gave in. I know in future their Diwalis won’t be as firecracker-indulgent as mine were when I was their age, neither as damaging to the environment because we did enough damage for a few generations. But they don’t have to be as foolish as my or my parent’s generations were. Yes, it is their right to be, but it’s better being smarter, I think.  Evolution works that way: slowly and steadily moves ahead, and doesn’t regress. By next Diwali I’m sure kids will figure out better and smarter ways to have a blast. I know I did a bad thing and I won’t defend it because I don’t want to sound like a Manu Singhvi or Sambit Patra or even worse, Palin or Limbaugh. To react to an appeal or campaign for cleaner air like it’s an attack on my religion or a liberal conspiracy against the right wing makes one sound like those we spend all our time mocking. It’s when bouts of irrationality start appearing closer together (unless you’re taking it for the team like a political spokesperson or for money like a PR manager) the transformation to loony level is hastened. Now why would one want to do that? Yes it’s your right, but seriously?

So do keep that in mind next Diwali. Sure, buying lots of crackers and pumping SO2 into the atmosphere is your right, just as it is to not clean up around you while frolicking in your own faeces in the neighborhood sewage – but you know, staying clean and working for a swachh bharat is a better idea – on the ground and in the air.

Next time someone is just being nice and pointing out your shoelace is untied, it’s not a liberal conspiracy. It’s just so you don’t fall on your face.