Modi’s fringe

It turns out that the Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) is over flowing with Members of Parliament and Members of Legislative Assembly that have a serious, Freudian-level issue with cow slaughter.

If you thought that our politicians didn’t know what the frack they were talking about when they were talking about rape, then bhai you’re in for a hysterical fit when you hear them talk about the Holy Cow.

We present Modi’s fringe: the jazzy subclass within the BJP that just doesn’t know when to shut it.

Manohar Lal Khattar

In an interview to The Indian Express, Khattar states that Hinduism is the majority faith in the country and since the cow is sacred to Hindus, Muslims will have to respect it. This obviously was enough to start a forest fire. It is still burning on Twitter as I write this piece.

Mukhtar Abbas Naqvi

Another lol-moment was when Naqvi voiced his opinion on the eating habits of the minorities. “If a certain section is dying because they can’t sell or eat beef then this is not the country for them. Let them go to Pakistan or an Arab nation,” Naqvi said.

Whoa, that got morbid real fast. Dying?!?

 Maneka Gandhi

A year back, in 2014, at a conference for animal rights, Gandhi said India was world’s largest beef exporter and went on to connect the dots and conclude that the profits from slaughter houses were funding terrorist activities. “It is going into terrorism, it is going into bomb making. It is going into killing us. Why we are allowing this? It is a trade of Indians. Do not blame a particular community for this,” she claimed.

Yeah right, and my dandruff is causing global warming.

Giriraj Singh

Responding to Lalu Prasad Yadav’s comment that there was no difference between cow meat and goat meat, Singh did his best to explain the distinction with a top-class example every Indian can relate to. Silly you who thought the wife is a murgi that is always daal barabar.

Sadhvi Prachi

Sadhvi Prachi is no stranger to “controversial remarks”. Remember that time she claimed that there are one or two terrorists in Parliament. Now, I know she’s not a member of the BJP. But since I am on the subject of beef and dying, I couldn’t resist adding her comment. While commenting on the Dadri incident, Sadhvi Prachi said those who eat beef deserve to die.

What is it with beef and dying?

Sakshi Maharaj

Sakshi Maharaj is the Justin Beiber of controversial comments by politicians.

Just after the devastating Nepal Earthquake he said this: “Rahul Gandhi eats beef, and goes to the holy shrine (Kedarnath) without purifying himself. The earthquake was bound to happen.”

Karma is a beef.

Sakshi Maharaj also said he is willing to die for gau mata rather than tolerate beef eating while commenting on the Dadri incident.

Yogi Adityanath

National mother?

Early this year, Adityanath launched a campaign for declaring the cow as the country’s “Rashtra Mata” in an effort to protect and expand the bovine clan.

At this rate, Modi’s fringe will soon cover his eyes — and blur his vision for India. Abhi bhi time hai, kaat do. Fringe ko.

This artilce has been updated: Sadhvi Prachi is not a BJP MP.