India’s Minister of External Affairs Sushma Swaraj finally got to visit a foreign country. However, going by the social media furore that has erupted since pictures were released of her meeting with the Iranian President Hassan Rouhani, you would think Sushma Swaraj is actually India’s answer to Gloria Steinem, rather than an official on a diplomatic visit.

Photographs showed Swaraj in a pink sari and pink shawl that completely covered her arms and hair during her meetings in Tehran. Of course, before we could say “hijab”, the upholders of women’s rights and decriers of anything Islamic (including a shawarma) had started tweeting outrage. Tarek Fatah, the poster boy of Hinduism, displayed his weak eyesight and tweeted:

First off, she is wearing a sari, Mr Fatah. And if you’d ever worn one, you’d know it’s easier to wrap a shawl around your head and arms than the pallu. But thanks for the bro-tip. And yes, her outfit reminds me of a teepee, but Swaraj is hardly in Iran to display her prowess in shawl wrapping.

Keep in mind that this was Swaraj’s first trip to Iran as foreign minister. Her visit followed Minister of Petroleum and Natural Gas Dharmendra Pradhan’s visit to the Islamic country. Her meeting with her Iranian counterpart, Mohammad Javad Zarif, has helped take forward talks on the Chabahar port and India’s equity stake in Farzad-B gas field and determine that all pending deals will be completed and finalised as soon as possible.

Yet none of this has received as much coverage as her supposed refusal to burn her shawl/hijab, so to speak.

Swaraj’s visit, contrary to what the outrage brigade seem to believe, is not to take a stand on women’s rights in Iran. Her visit is to ensure bilateral trade with Iran moves smoothly. Just so my opinion on the Islamic hijab or purdah or Hindu ghungat is clear, I view these practices as ones that ensure continued oppression of women and I believe that we must enlighten the men and women who propagate this oppression, to stop doing so. However long that may take. But expecting Swaraj to do so on a diplomatic visit is simply juvenile and shows a complete lack of understanding of the word and practice of “diplomacy”.

If Swaraj is supposed to stand up for women’s rights and take nations to task for their dubious internal policies, we should also have the same expectations from Narendra Modi, the leader of the free world we call India. Yet in April, when Modi visited Saudi Arabia, I don’t recall any statements on those lines being made by him. And purely for the benefit of foreign relations, I’m glad he didn’t.

Suhasini Haidar’s tweet reflected the prevalent opinion on social media, which seems to expect Swaraj should cock a snook at local custom and tradition on a diplomatic visit by pulling off her head covering and baring her arms in front of her Iranian hosts. Which would be – to state the obvious – more than a little foolish.

In Iran, the law requires both men and women to cover up. In fact, if you visit the Iranian visa site, the guidelines make the regulations apparent.

Of course prescribing how someone – regardless of gender – should dress is an imposition on one’s rights. But should Swaraj have said, “Damn these bilateral talks, let me stand up for the rights of women”?

Yes, there have been women dignitaries who have earlier refused – for a while – to fall in line. More power to them, although their stands ultimately ended up to be damp squibs. Italy’s Emma Bonino, the European Union Foreign minister, landed in Tehran without covering her head in 2014. She was met by the Iranian Chief of Protocol who reportedly gave her three headscarves which she refused to wear — till she was told that her visit would be cancelled. Then she finally put on a head scarf. Not the best way to start talks in a country you’re in for a political visit.

In 2013, Australian foreign minister Julie Bishop faced the same backlash as Swaraj when she wore a headscarf on her visit to Iran. As Bishop said to her critics at the time, “This is our first visit to Iran in 12 years and I do not want to make it our last.” That, ladies and gentlemen, is diplomacy.

Even superpowers like the United States of America know when to be diplomatic. Barely a few hours before leaving for Riyadh, President Barack Obama was in India and spoke of women’s rights and their freedom. However, keeping in mind the role Saudi Arabia plays in US foreign affairs in the Middle East, it’s not surprising that he did not voice the same views while in Saudi Arabia. Is this hypocritical? Of course. But we all know politics is a game of doublespeak.

Yes, First Lady Michelle Obama hadn’t covered her head during the Obamas’ visit to Saudi Arabia in January 2015. Neither did former US Secretary Of State, Condoleeza Rice, Hillary Clinton and Laura Bush, on their respective visits to Saudi Arabia. However, that’s because foreign visitors are not mandated to follow this custom in the Middle Eastern kingdom. Yet, what even Michelle Obama did, without a smile on her face, was to stand a little behind her husband while meeting Saudi officials. She didn’t approach the men in the receiving line till they gestured for her to do so. I doubt it gave her pleasure to show such deference, but she did it anyway. In 2009, Barack Obama literally bent over while greeting Japanese Emperor Akihito and Empress Michiko at the Imperial Palace in Tokyo.

It’s not just politicians and heads of state who acknowledge and follow local customs and traditions while visiting foreign countries. In Thailand, all tourists have to wear long-sleeved shirts and cover their legs when they enter the country’s monasteries and temples. When I visited Jama Masjid in Srinagar, I had to cover my head and could only walk in the gardens and not touch the water in the reservoir – even though crows were bathing in it. Were the cockles of my heart warmed at being made to feel that I would defile the sanctity of the mosque, even though men and crows were washing their faces and feet in it? No.

But that was hardly the time and place for me to throw off the shawl covering my head and start frolicking in the water, with the crows. It’s the same when I enter a temple in India. Even though I do not believe in religion or god, I ensure I’m not wearing shorts or a bikini. Simply because I know it’s not kosher to do so, even though my inner feminist and heathen wants to.

Showing a deference for custom in certain situations isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In certain situations, it’s simply good manners. It’s not as though Swaraj had a choice to say that she won’t visit Iran because they repress women. Or that she’d rather talks fall through as the cost of not covering her head and arms. And if we really do want Bharat Mata Ki Jai, we should be happy Swaraj opted to become a human teepee. Let’s keep in mind that in politics and diplomacy, you do what you have to do to ensure that your visit goes smoothly and your goals are met. Whether that be covering your head with a shawl or building an alliance with a political party which has been your arch nemesis, such as the People’s Democratic Party and the Bharatiya Janata Party. That’s known as diplomacy, baby.

The author can be reached at rajyasree@newslaundry.com and on twitter @rajyasree