When TV anchors went dabangg on Salman Khan

Last night’s prime time coverage of Salman Khan’s comment proves TRP is king and news the loser

WrittenBy:Abhinandan Sekhri
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Simile warning: If bad similes put you off, stop reading now.

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Last night, on June 21, every single English news channel gave in to the pressure of television rating points (TRPs) to go fully nuts on Salman Khan.  The reaction of news channels to ‘Dabangg’ Khan’s inappropriate simile was as bad as – his inappropriate simile. See what I did there? Simile mein simile mein simile. Meta square.

On NDTV there was Nidhi Razdan with one of the silliest discussions on Khan. It had the typical nonsensical content of Times Now without the histrionics and entertainment value – like trying to make a serious and socially relevant Andaz Apna Apna.

Times Now started with mild hysteria as a warm-up that Arnab Lite (or Anand Narasimhan) provides before the channel goes full ‘Spartaaaaa!’ at nine at night – like a warm-up watching of Hum Aapke Hain Koun…! before you are subjected to Prem Ratan Dhan Payo. In fact, singer Abhijeet at one point, sick of being admonished and scolded by Narasimhan (which is what the supporting cast, also called “panelists” on Times Now, are there for) said he was called 10 times to come on the show and now that he agreed to come, he is not being allowed to speak. That left the anchor a little sheepish – like Khan must feel each time they replay Suryavanshi on Star Gold.

Zakka Jacob of CNN-News18 who usually conducts debates in a relatively measured and sensible manner too decided to join the TRP feeding frenzy, as did India Today’s Rahul Kanwal, who has come up with some great shows over the last few days without leaning on a frenzied panel. This time he too needed a Madhu Kishwar to make a prime-time blockbuster – like Khan needed Kareena Kapoor Khan in a Bajrangi Bhaijaan to help him recover from the Sohail Khan-directed disaster, Jai Ho.

(Aside: Madhu Kishwar defended Khan by saying the physical demands on action heroes are as punishing to the body as any assault, so we should sympathise with Khan. Not making this up. TV news has its unexpectedly fun moments.)

At a press meet for his upcoming film Sultan, Khan said, “When I used to walk out of that ring, it used to be actually like a raped woman walking out.” This remark reached the internet on Monday morning and after “#insensitiveSalman” became a Twitter trend, by late afternoon on Tuesday, Times Now and India Today were running over-the-top “BREAKING NEWS”-type graphics and whipping up emotions (mostly among their anchors and reporters) over this non-issue. Bad enough? No, wait, it gets better.

Then there was this graphic bombarding the screen that read, “Is rape a joke?” followed by “Debating tonight”. I won’t tell you what channel because it’s an easy guess. So what kind of “debate” would that be? Four people saying, “yes, rape is a joke” and four saying, “no, it’s more serious”? And two undecided, depending on what the circumstances and skirt lengths were?

Khan’s statement exposed TV news revealing itself to be the “joke” it has become.  What leaked Radia Tapes, an explosive report on paid media submitted by Paranjoy Guha Thakurta and calls of “presstitute” by cabinet ministers (with the subtlety and sensibility of Bhaijaan himself) could not do to discredit the electronic news media, TV news is doing to itself, steadily yet surely.

And it is not really their fault. The model is broken, but more on that another day, another rant. Or on Hafta.

Things got steadily worse and more cringe-inducing. We had a reporter from CNN-News 18 going to Jyoti Singh’s (named Nirbhaya by news media) mother Asha Devi, telling her what Khan had said and then asking how she felt about it. It was as jaw-droppingly uncomfortable and mortifying as the presence of a serious art-house actor in a Salman Khan item song.

Among several gems hurled from the TV screen last night was this one from Arnab Goswami, when he told the Chairperson on the National Commission for Women (NCW) Lalitha Kumaramangalam that she should have “dragged him down there to the NCW office by tomorrow.”

“Dragged him down”. That’s right. The NCW should (presuming there is a law against bad similes) “drag Salman Khan” to Delhi and then? And then do what, someone needs to ask. Even if Goswami dragged Khan to the NCW headquarters, what would he do after that? It would be like a dog catching a car and not knowing what to do with it. Or Khan winning a scholarship to an actors’ workshop and landing up…to do what?

In case you were wondering what was being discussed in this over-the-top noise orgy, it was an over-the-top utterance — like Salman Khan being on a panel to encourage responsible driving.

Then came the final call to action. Goswami urged his viewers to think twice before buying any product endorsed by Khan to punish the brands that use him to advertise their goods. Thus pushing brands to abandon Sallu Bhai.  Here is exactly what he said: “Do think twice before you get swayed by endorsements. And do look at these brands and whether they deserve to be put at the exalted places where they place themselves.”

That moment did it for me. This would have as much an effect on viewers and brands choosing Khan… as…  as… wait, I’ll think of a simile… ok I can’t. Where is a good simile when you need one?

The fact is that the public will throng to watch Bhaijaan’s terribly nonsensical movies just as they tune in to watch The Newhour every night. Goswami is news media’s Salman Khan. The unstoppable action hero, but with spectacles, a suit, sideburns and a slightly cheaper set than the original. They are Judwaa. Spouting melodramatic inane dialogue – like true Dabangg 1 and Dabangg 2. Doing a song and dance while trivialising serious issues – like only Bajrangi Bhaijaan and Ek Tha Tiger can. And glorifying the most heinous or regressive acts when it seems the delirious public will bite. With the confidence of a true Baaghi with the humour of a No Entry thrown in. Always Ready to Kick the nearest competition, unapologetically. Both are capable of annihilating any pesky wannabe critics (I take a bow) or precocious content mavens with the carelessness of – Prem breaking a million hearts with a smile and booty shake to Kabootar Ja ja ja.

One doesn’t become the Sultan of TV or celluloid without that swag. So this entire hoopla will have as much an effect on brands and viewers abandoning Salman Khan as… wait, I have just the perfect simile – as advertisers and viewers have of abandoning India’s most watched TV news show The Newshour and Arnab Goswami because of the nonsense it delivers. That’s it! Sometimes the perfect simile is right there under your nose and you miss it. Almost.

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