The 17th Lok Sabha has begun and, with it, my watch has begun too. This columnist is making a comeback hoping that we finally get a functioning Parliament this time around. I know that Modiji has an epic majority now—even more than before—and I know that he doesn’t exactly have a good track record when it comes to a functional Parliament, but hey, all we can do is hope. So here goes nothing!

Last week in Parliament, we saw some Telugu Desam Party (TDP) MPs abandon ship while their boss-man was holidaying, there was such-chanting-much-wow during oath-taking, Triple Talaq Bill made a comeback and the Modi 2.0 Cabinet took a flurry of major decisions before the Parliament even commenced.

Let’s get right into it.

Abandon ship!

While N Chandrababu Naidu was off for a vacation in foreign lands, four Rajya Sabha MPs from the TDP decided to abandon ship. The MPs went ahead and joined the Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) saying they were “inspired and encouraged by the impeccable leadership of Narendra Modi”.

This is interesting because of two reasons. First, now the BJP’s tally in Rajya Sabha is a sweet 75-member strong after absorbing four new members and the TDP’s tally is down from six to two. The BJP-led National Democratic Alliance (NDA)—with a fresh new tally of 106 seats—is just 18 seats away from a majority in the Upper House. Congress, which is the second-largest party currently with 48 seats, must be quite worried. There are 66 non-aligned party seats in Rajya Sabha currently which, well, are up for grabs. On top of that, there are nine vacant seats in the Upper House and in November this year, the BJP is set to get another 10 seats from Uttar Pradesh.

Not that it matters anymore but two of the MPs who switched are industrialists who were under the scanner of the Income Tax department, the Central Bureau of Investigation and the Enforcement Directorate. BJP MP and spokesperson GVL Narasimha Rao even called them “Andhra Mallyas”.

What matters is that the NDA’s takeover of the Upper House now seems imminent. Modiji is doing this currently…

Second, the anti-defection law, which prevents members from skipping parties and joining others did not apply in the case of the TDP. The reason being that the law allows defection if two-thirds of a party’s total strength defects at the same time. So four out of six MPs switching parties is completely fine.

This is where I remind you that anti-defection law is just the worst. The worst.

Return of the prodigal Triple Talaq Bill, for the third time

The Triple Talaq Bill is making a comeback this week! Turns out, this is the first thing on the Government’s priority list. Allow me to pat myself on the back for predicting it correctly. #ThankYouVeryMuch. #HumbleBrag

Here’s a recap of everything that all has gone down with “The Muslim Women (Protection of Rights on Marriage) Bill” aka the Triple Talaq Bill:

Modi Government brought in a Bill banning triple talaq in December 2017, then they bulldozed it through the Lok Sabha, then there was outrage in the Rajya Sabha, then the Government withdrew it, then they passed an ordinance enacting a new Bill—with some changes—and then they brought this new Bill to the Lok Sabha. That was passed by the Lok Sabha and then this new Bill lapsed after the 16th Lok Sabha ended.

Now, in the 17th Lok Sabha, the Bill has been reintroduced and is likely to get passed rather quickly. Will there be outrage in the Rajya Sabha again? Who knows these things. Next week will tell.

Oath-taking shenanigans

The 17th Lok Sabha began with newly-elected members taking oaths and officially becoming members of the house. It’s usually a dull affair but it’s 2019, people! How can anything be dull? How can anyone who has a camera trained on them not turn it into an opportunity to grab attention?

Behaving like typical millennial-era trolls, some members decided to fill the Lower House with chants and screams while the solemn affair of oath-taking was underway. Chants varied from “Jai Shri Ram” to “Allah-hu-Akbar” to “Bharat Mata ki Jai” to “Radhe Radhe”—because why not. When Sakshi Maharaj went to take his oath, there were even screams of “Mandir Wahi Banega!” because why miss an opportunity, eh?

Every time a non-BJP MP from West Bengal walked up to the podium to take their oath, screams of “Jai Shri Ram” were heard. This was obviously a sly taunt directed towards West Bengal Chief Minister Mamata Banerjee who was recently spotted exiting her car and threatening random people chanting “Jai Shri Ram”. The BJP MPs must’ve thought, “Hah! There is no didi to save you now, eh TMC-walo? Take my JAI SHRI RAM!” Trinamool Congress (TMC) MPs responded to this clear bullying with a variation of “Jai Bangla” and “Jai Maa Kali”.

Asaduddin Owaisi was similarly greeted with chants of “Bharat Mata Ki Jai”, “Jai Shri Ram” and “Vande Mataram” when he went up to take his oath. He responded with his own “Jai Bhim”, “Jai Hind”, “Takbir” and “Allah hu akbar”.

Then there was the embodiment of controversy herself, Pragya Thakur, who caused a scene while she was taking her oath. In a strange turn of events, she went up to the podium and started the oath (in Sanskrit) with “Aham Sadhvi Pragya Thakur Purna Chetananannd Avdheshanand Giri…” The speaker seemed a bit confused. He asked her to take oath in the name of God or the Constitution. He probably thought she was invoking God. Thakur then clarified and insisted that this long-winded utterance is, in fact, her full name. In all its glory. The speaker disallowed her from using it though because her Election Commission record doesn’t have this glorious name.

And of course, some in our dear media turned this into a strange controversy about Congress MPs objecting to Thakur’s use of the prefix “sadhvi”.

A busy Cabinet

To end this week’s column, I thought it would be a good idea to do a quick wrap-up of what our new Cabinet has been up to since coming back to power. More so because all of this will reflect in one form or another during this session of Parliament. Here are the highlights:

• Cabinet has approved The Jammu & Kashmir Reservation (Amendment) Bill, 2014, which provides reservation to persons belonging to Pahari community, clan or tribe having a distinct cultural, ethnic and linguistic identity. This is only for government jobs. Oh, and the President’s rule in J&K has been extended for another six months.
• A Committee is being set up to examine the issue of simultaneous elections, or as our branding-friendly government is calling it: “One Country, One Election”. Just throwing it out there, simultaneous election is a terrible idea which will fundamentally change the way our democracy functions.
• The Cabinet cleared The Aadhaar and Other Laws (Amendment) Bill, 2019 to allow voluntary use of Aadhaar as identity proof for opening bank accounts and procuring mobile phone connections. The Bill, once introduced, will replace an ordinance issued in March, 2019.
• The Cabinet approved PM Kisan scheme’s coverage of 14.5 crore farmers. The revised scheme envisages covering two crore more farmers with an estimated expenditure of ₹87,217.50 crore in 2019-20. What’s more, they’ve also approved a farmer pension scheme worth ₹10,774.5 crore for a period of three years.
• The newly-formed Jal Shakti Ministry is mulling over providing central funds to select states in view of the ongoing intense water crisis across the country. Tamil Nadu has already demanded ₹5,000 crore aid to stem the crisis.

That’s all I have for you this week. I’ll see you again next week with another update on the happenings within the great round building.

PS: Don’t forget to #SansadWatch.

With inputs from Ayushi Mishra.