‘Us versus Them’ in a culture of hate

White supremacist (WS): Why have you come to us?

War-affected people (WAP): To be like you.

WS: We didn’t invite you.

WAP: But you are pounding our homes with the latest weapons.

WS: To teach you a lesson.

WAP: What lesson?

WS: To be like us, peaceful and loving people.

WAP: That’s why we have come to you, to be like you.

Evangelical pastor Rick Warren once said: “Our culture has accepted two huge lies. First is that if you disagree with someone’s lifestyle, you must fear or hate them. Second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe, say or do.” Every day, differences of opinion and culture create barriers to people living as neighbours. Differences were once celebrated—till we started hating each other.

Nowadays, it seems outdated to talk of empathy, humanity and love. These values or acts are reserved for “own” people. I am trained to study the behaviour of machines and materials but this manic culture of hate and “us versus them” has shifted my focus to group dynamics. In his article “Making sense of Indo-Pak conflict” in Business Standard, Sanjit Dhami wrote about Henri Tajfel, a Polish Jew studying chemistry in France at the time of World War II. Tajfel lost his entire family in concentration camps. He switched to social psychology to discover the nature of human prejudice. His work gave rise to the social identity theory, and the main insight is that humans classify others into in-groups and out-groups and favour in-groups over out-groups. This is why caring today is now reserved for an in-group.

This tool of group dynamics was designed to undertake corrective measures to guide human behaviour on the path of progress in terms of relationships among human beings. As the saying goes, “If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

Let’s now talk about the attack on the CRPF convoy which killed over 40 personnel from different regions and religions. It ignited a wave of hatred and attacks against the Kashmiri people. The CRPF attack was not an attack on a particular community, it was an outcome of the ongoing conflict which is unacknowledged by higher-ups at the Centre. In response and in a show of strength in the winter capital of Jammu & Kashmir, cars belonging to another community were burned, shops were attacked, and even stones were thrown inside residential complexes. These were not random or impulsive reactions, these reactions are nurtured by political rhetoric and are spoon-fed by the media.

The public discourse I am witnessing goes like this:

Right Wing (RW): Why are you staying here?

Indian Muslim (IM): We choose India because of its Constitution.

RW: Go to Pakistan. We are changing our Constitution.

IM: Accept us.

RW: Accept our religion, then stay with us.

An NGO and a nation step forward as torchbearers of love, support and hope. The NGO is Khalsa Aid, founded on Sikh principles, and serving humanity while recognising the human race as one. Its service isn’t for in-groups, it’s for all.

There’s New Zealand. This nation of Maori people, with Haka and Hongi culture, shows us that living with hate benefits no one. The words of their Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, echo in my ears and gave many hope when she said: “They (migrants) have chosen New Zealand to be their home and it is their home. They are us”.Their “us” is different from our “us”.

It’s not that Jacinda Ardern is engaging in a PR exercise to try and remain in the top spot in the Global Peace Index. The barometer of her seriousness and concern is in the behaviour of the people of New Zealand who rushed to the spot of violence in Christchurch with flowers in their hands and tears in their eyes. Political leaders are a reflection of society. Jacinda Ardern reflected exactly what the Kiwi society is made of: peace and love, not hate and war. Her statement demands rumination when she said: “All I have done is simply echoed the humanity of New Zealanders.”

Don’t people in democratic countries choose leaders who are mirror images of their heart? Hate begets hate, love begets love.

Kiwi: Why have you come here?

Migrant: To live in peace and away from daily bloodshed.

Kiwi: Welcome, now you are “us”.

Remember, some of our actions and rhetoric can cause more damage even if our fingers are not on the trigger.