‘Should I kill myself?’: How a woman’s birthday party became a free pass for a Hindutva mob

“I had invited my entire class. That included Hindus, Muslims and even Christians,” said Shivangi Patel. “If a classmate of mine is Muslim, am I not allowed to interact with him?”

It’s been 24 hours since videos of 22-year-old Shivangi’s birthday party went viral. Not for the festivities or good cheer, but because Hindutva men, allegedly led by the local Bajrang Dal, stormed the venue, a cafe in Uttar Pradesh’s Bareilly, and assaulted two Muslim men who were among the attendees. 

The men claimed Shivangi and her Muslim friends were indulging in ‘love jihad’. 

‘Love jihad’ is a Hindutva conspiracy theory that Muslim men seduce Hindu women with the express purpose of converting them to Islam. Yet several social media accounts and media houses ran with headlines and captions on Shivangi’s birthday party that presented the conspiracy theory as fact. 

Shivangi would later file a police complaint but an FIR wasn’t registered. Instead, both her Muslim classmates and the owner of the cafe were booked for ‘unlawful assembly’. An FIR was registered meanwhile on the basis of a complaint from the cafe’s owner. As of 6 pm on December 29, six people have been arrested so far.

Shivangi is particularly upset by an Instagram Reel of the violence that says: “Bajrang Dal conducted a raid at a cafe in Rajendra Nagar and caught two Muslim boys and a girl indulging in love jihad.” The Reel uses a Hindutva song titled Ek Hind Ka Beta Hai Sab Pe Bhari – ‘one son of India is enough to tackle everyone else’. 

“I’m so disturbed right now every time I watch that Reel, which even my family must have also seen by now,” Shivangi told Newslaundry. “Should I kill myself by succumbing to the pressure these guys have put me under?”

Newslaundry spoke to various parties to piece together what happened.

‘Call the police. We aren’t bothered’

Shivangi is originally from Badayun. She turned 22 on December 27. 

It was a birthday she was looking forward to, especially since she had only two months left to go to finish her nursing course at the Keshlata Institute of Nursing. This would be, she thought, a way to end the year celebrating with her batchmates. 

She showed Newslaundry a copy of the e-vite she’d made for the party. The venue she selected was the Den Cafe and Restaurant in Rajendra Nagar. 

On December 26, Shivangi sent the invite to her class WhatsApp group, which has 40 members. “You are warmly invited to my birthday party,” she wrote. “Please join me to celebrate this special day. You all invited..”

About 15-16 people responded saying they’d attend, she said, so she accordingly called Den Cafe to make arrangements for noon on December 27. By 1 pm, about 12-13 of her friends arrived. A video of the cake cutting, with a timestamp of 1.18 pm, shows Shivangi wearing an LED headband and smiling, with people around her laughing and singing ‘Happy Birthday’. 

Shortly before 2 pm, a group of 25 to 30 men landed up at Den Cafe. Others were outside, Shivangi said, she couldn’t estimate how many in total. “The first thing they asked was, ‘Hindu kaun hai? Muslim kaun hai? (Who among you is Hindu and who is Muslim?)” Shivangi said. 

Alarmed, some of her Hindu classmates identified themselves. They were swiftly ushered outside the cafe by the men. The two Muslim students were the only ones left behind  with Shivangi, and the men turned on them. 

“They first called my Muslim classmates katua,” she claimed, referring to the religious slur referencing circumcision. “They then began assaulting them physically, as is visible in the videos.”

Videos of the attack on social media show the men slapping, kicking and punching the two party attendees. 

Shivangi said, “They began shouting that love – what is that word? – jihad is happening here. That too when I had informed my family about the birthday celebrations and had invited friends over.” 

The men allegedly snatched Shivangi’s phone when she tried to make a phone call. Shivangi said she was “pushed to the ground” and verbally abused. When Newslaundry asked what the men said to her, Shivangi said, “The kind of slang and verbal abuses they hurled at me, I cannot repeat. Someone among them even said that ‘she should be killed here only’.”

Shivangi said the men took away her phone. When she said she was going to call the police, one of the men allegedly said, “Bula lo, kya hi bigad jayega hamara. Hamara koi kuch nahi bigaad sakta.” 

Loosely translated: “You can call the police. We aren’t bothered. No one can touch us.”

Shivangi told Newslaundry the men called her by name. They knew who she was, though she doesn’t know how they found out about her birthday party. 

Police action, an FIR, and arrests 

It’s unclear who called the police but a team from Prem Nagar police station showed up. Videos from that day show a police van escorting Shivangi and the two Muslim friends to the Prem Nagar police station at Bareilly. The mob was left behind. 

At the station, Shivangi recorded her video statement before the police. The police then summoned Shailendra Gangwar, the owner of Den Cafe. He arrived an hour later and was promptly detained along with the two Muslim men on charges of ‘rioting’. All three got bail later that evening. 

On December 28, the Prem Nagar police registered an FIR based on a complaint filed by cafe owner Shailendra. Shailendra’s complaint said that on December 27, “while some customers were celebrating a birthday party at my restaurant, Rishabh Thakur along with Deepak Pathak and 20-25 others barged inside and created a ruckus”. 

“They hurled verbal abuses at the restaurant staff along with customers and resorted to violence while issuing threats that they will kill people,” the complaint said.

Rishabh Thakur is a self-styled gaurakshak from Bareilly. He’s visible in the videos of the attack on social media (several of the other members of the mob have their faces hidden with scarves). He was also in the news on December 11 for pasting pictures of Babur and Maulani Madani in public urinals. 

While Bajrang Dal’s district coordinator claimed that Thakur was previously “expelled” from the group, it’s worth noting that Thakur has been widely photographed at events, including those with the BJP.

The FIR charged Rishabh Thakur, Deepak Pathak and 20-25 unknown persons under multiple sections of the Bharatiya Nyaya Sanhita: 333 (trespass for causing hurt or assault), 115(2) (voluntarily causing hurt), 352 (intentional insult with intent to provoke breach of peace), 351(3) (criminal intimidation), 324(4) (mischief), 131 (punishment for assault), and 191(2) (rioting).

Tellingly, the FIR and Shailendra’s complaint make no mention of the Bajrang Dal or any indication that Muslim attendees were singled out.

Yet when this reporter spoke to Shailendra, he said: “They were calling themselves as belonging to Bajrang Dal. Then they asked who is a Muslim. When a Muslim student came forward, they began slapping him. They beat the other [Muslim] guy by smashing glasses on his head.”

Does he know how the mob even heard about the birthday party? Shailendra said, “I don’t know who could have passed them on such information.”

On December 29, two days after the incident, six people were arrested by the Bareilly police. A press note issued on behalf of the Prem Nagar police team said that “at 2.24 pm on 29 December, based on information from mukhbir (police informer) and CCTV footage, police have arrested six accused namely Prince Singh, Akash, Ashish alias Paras Johari, Mridul alias Manish Dubey, Deepak and one juvenile from near MB College in Bareilly”.

These six are among the 20-25 ‘unknown persons’ mentioned in the FIR.

Newslaundry reached out to Manush Pareek, the Superintendent of Police Bareilly, for comment but he said he couldn’t because he’s on leave. 

Calls made to Circle Officer Ashutosh Shivam went unanswered. 

Sources in the Bareilly police, when asked about registration of a single FIR on behalf of the cafe owner, said, “FIR has been registered against those who were involved in misbehaviour. Action will be taken as and when a complaint is received on behalf of other parties.” 

When asked why any reference to the Bajrang Dal is missing in the FIR registered at Prem Nagar police station, the source said: “That is under investigation. If any organisation or group is found to be involved in illegal action, due course of action as per legal procedure will be taken.”

‘This is the kind of impunity they enjoy’

Shivangi, meanwhile, packed up from her hostel and went to the home of her local guardian, her aunt Anita Gangwar. When she first spoke to this reporter, Anita said, “Everyone in my family is so mentally disturbed right now. You need to give me some time before we can talk.”

An hour later, Anita was more composed. While her niece sounded scared, Anita seemed more angry. 

Anita hadn’t been present at Shivangi’s birthday party; she joined her niece at the Prem Nagar police station after hearing about what had happened. A day after the attack, Anita said, she submitted a written complaint at the same police station but she “hasn’t heard back”.

She also visited Den Cafe after the attack to try and get a copy of CCTV footage of what had transpired; she alleged that Shailendra “refused to share” it. 

Anita said, “So many media personnel at the cafe tried to interview me, what’s the point? Why not chase the Bajrang Dal workers instead?...Not one person has been arrested till now. This is the kind of impunity they enjoy. It’s as if they are pressuring the police internally”

She added: “I want that my truth should reach the CM’s office and that I get an opportunity to put forth facts and my side before the chief minister. I want to put before the chief minister how wrongly my child has been presented on social media. This is not what the religion says, that a child cannot celebrate her birthday with her classmates.”

Labelling the attack as “total gundai”, Anita said communalism wreaks havoc on the lives of everyday people.

“Every educational institute has students from different religious backgrounds,” she said. “Do they want that even colleges should be based on religious segregation just so that interfaith individuals don't befriend each other and hence don't celebrate anything together?”

Anita told Newslaundry that one of the Muslim students has an injured eardrum, the other allegedly fractured his fingers. “Our CM needs to see how the Bajrang Dal is committing such horrendous acts,” she said. 

 As for Shivangi, she summed it up to Newslaundry: “If I have to indulge in love jihad, why will I invite so many people? And I’m aware of the current climate. I invited them because they are my friends…For me, the world has come to a standstill.”

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