As a kid growing up with two older sisters, getting beaten up was a way of life. For Mummy being fair was important. It couldn’t appear that the male child was getting special treatment just coz he’s a boy born after two girls. Possible that my Tamil mum married to my Punjabi dad didn’t want to fall into the Punjabi gender inequality trap.  Everything had to be shared equally – sweets, gifts, toys, clothes (cringe), punishments and beatings too. So if my bully of an older sister did something wrong we’d all be in deep shit with– “You all never listen to me. Sab ke sab.” Or if there was violence, the mummy refrain – “Behave yourselves. Aapas mein ladte rehte ho, sab ke sab.” I was too young and scared to tell mum that getting pushed, slapped and crying does not qualify as Aapas mein ladoing. For that I would have to hit back my 6 years older than me sister which was a no contest. But that doesn’t matter to mummys with hearts so large that love for infinite kids can be accommodated, or to our news anchors in mainstream media.

It breaks a mother’s and a TV anchor’s heart to punish just one child while the other happily skips away not having done anything wrong just then, although he may be a real annoying precocious prick in life.

In the Salman Rushdie Lit fest biggest news story week Vinod Mehta and Shoma Chaudhury ended several discussions with the, let’s not forget Salman Rushdie is also very intolerant of different opinions and loves publicity etc. Being Mummy.

Its one thing to think people who don’t like your books are dimwitted idiots and quite another wanting to hack someone’s head off because you don’t like what they write. And some anchors and editors doing the “tum aapas mein ladte rehete ho” is just silly. I noticed the same during the Anna movement (Full disclosure. I am part of team Anna so may not be as objective and non partisan as you’d like but I do believe I’m fair). So while one side was pretty much using all the tools of governance at their disposal to scuttle the Lokpal Bill and crack down on us, some mummys in media would end with the – what the Congress is doing is terrible but tum aapas mein ladte rehete ho.

You don’t HAVE to scold both sides to be objective. I understand there will be gazillions of issues and debates which exist entirely in grey areas and there is plenty of reason to scold both sides (since the scolding wont stop. It’s riveting to watch, TRP generating and has a sense of Indian apnapan – to be able to scold only those you love). However, there will be a few instances with very specific details for engagement and debate with a pretty simple and visible reasonable and unreasonable side. And its not unreasonable to expect journalists to see when that is the case.  Being fair is as important as the attempt at objectivity.

Being a devout Muslim/Hindu who thinks anyone not doing namaz, matha tekna, roza, navratri fast etc are ignorant fools who will go to hell is one thing but wanting to lop someone’s head off is another. Similarly being a precocious pompous prick is one thing but wanting to commit murder or violence is very different.

So dear fourth pillar of democracy while we laud and appreciate your attempts at objectivity, really we do, please don’t fall into the Mummy syndrome of scolding all your children (judiciary, politicians, civil society groups, loony lefty, loony right, boring centre etc) all at the same time because one of them has done something stupid. Trust me, the rest will give you a chance by doing something even stupider sooner than you think.