Recent

An Ode To Arnab Goswami

Why Arnab should be our North, our South, our East and West, our working week and our Sunday rest.

I’ve been secretly hiding something and I need to confess. I’m in love with Arnab Goswami. Not the individual. I don’t know anything about the individual. It is rumored he gets his hair gelled in my neighborhood at a salon where cinema star Salman Khan waxes, but that’s only a rumor, and like Arnab, I don’t dabble in rumors. I seek the truth, I am a truth-seeker like him, the John Rambo of the Indian news anchors. So the truth is, I am talking about the thing that’s on TV, the character, the persona that shouts in my face everyday with the familiar, consoling, necessary words, “INDIAAAA…”

Now it’s true that if you are weak, if you muddle through your middle-class life, you may get scared listening to the Newshour on Times Now when he starts shouting. Your child may start crying, you may drop your coffee, or an aging person in the house may have a heart attack and die, but that’s because you are weak. You don’t have the mental and physical strength to listen to the day’s news. You don’t understand that anyone can read the news, but how many can feel the news? Tear the news? Break the news? Blow the news? Be blown by the news? Indeed, I’d go further and ask, how many can just say the word news in so many different ways so you think it’s not news – but your house burning down? That’s right, the answer is two words (or one word hyphenated) – no one.

Unlike weak people, Arnab and I are men of the world. We have strength. We have foresight. But there is one difference between us, I have hair loss and he has a lapel microphone. And into that lapel microphone, more than any other Indian, he knows what to do. To say, “No! No! No! No!” just when one of his guests begins to speak. That’s genius. That’s why he’s where he is (in a suit in Lower Parel) and the rest of us are where we are (elsewhere). He’s figured out the crucial Indian trait that many have forgotten – to deny things even before anything is said. To reject their argument way before an argument. Timed to perfection, like a Tiger Woods-infidelity. Right after “Arnab I think-” and boom. There. Every night. Come the tsunami of nos. Never a second late, like a master craftsman. It’s like watching Michelangelo.

Any Indian who grew up in 80’s Socialist India, filled with income tax raids, knows this. Always start with, “I’m innocent” even if the question is, “What’s your name?” That’s probably his inspiration, but as a cowardly fan I’ll never have the courage to go up and ask.

Many have forgotten that India. He hasn’t. He knows that India. And this India. All Indias. India knows him. In fact, he is India. When he says, “My millions of Indian viewers” or “My Indians” or “You, India” building to his opus “INDIAAA”, I need a drink of water to calm down from the erotically-charged ambience it creates. I’m ashamed that millions of Indians will prostrate before this or that Guru or Rajnikanth, but not before their TVs when he’s on. That they will calmly eat a home-cooked dinner (or dare to change to a sports channel) while he toils and fights every night to create a nation-shaking opinion revolution (that’s what I call it, you can call it “news”, you weakling).

It’s ungrateful. Unfair. But anyone who’s understood the workings of the world, or has watched the Oscars (Arnab has done both, simultaneously), knows that we live in an unfair, ungrateful planet. Where’s his Dadasaheb Phalke? His Nobel? His Rajya Sabha bungalow? His bid for India’s President? Another two words – not there.

It’s sad. But messiahs are never understood in their time. God, Mithun Chakravarty, the guy that invented the zipper – were all considered mortals. It takes a while for it to sink in to these ordinary people, the dead-weight who allow themselves to be clouded by dumb things like “reason” and “education”. Maybe someone someday will understand. Maybe Dadasaheb Phalke will receive the Arnab Goswami award, when there’s justice. As a start, I humbly beg the powers that be to do a version of “Mera Bharat Mahaan”, that old Doordarshan patriotic theme song, and replace it with “Mera Bharat Yahaan”, sung my him.  Yahaan being his Newshour studio. Naturally.

That’ll be a start.

I hear Mr Aamir Khan is doing some show about the victory of truth on Sunday mornings. A great effort, but useless. Too late. The truth wins every night in India. That’s right. On Mr Goswami’s show. That’s where Satyamev comes to do his Jayate and hang out. By the way, in case you’re not sure if the truth won some night, wait for him to say,“The truth wins” followed by, “The truth has won” every 4 seconds between the Nos. He’s not a show-off, he doesn’t want to give away the score, he just wants to subtly hint at it. That’s what I call, in a word, class. Look up what it means in a dictionary. It means him.

Yes, Mr Goswami has critics. He has those that say he is opinionated without knowing facts, that it’s only a series of pointless accusations without perspective, that the flashing headline has already decided the debate, that people shout at each other and over each other so you can’t listen and there’s no debate, that mature journalism is about objectivity, about the greyness between black and white, it’s about two sides of every issue, that he doesn’t listen to anyone he invites. To those people, my thoughtful intelligent retort is – whatever. If you don’t like it, we have airports – leave. You are mass. He is class. You’ll never understand. It’s like going into Rahul Dravid’s wardrobe – classy. Don’t go there if you’re not invited. Go away.

Look, any pansy can look up “facts” and “listen”. Especially if you have Google and headphones. Any idiot can have an informed debate where they knowledgably navigate an issue while lacing their point of view. What’s the big deal in that? An emcee does that. Any child can call people on a TV show and be gracious to give them an opportunity to speak. Reality shows do that, and then give away money to the public for speaking (fools). The real talent is challenging the guests with,“Well sir, I have a piece of paper that says…” and then holding up a random piece of paper. Doesn’t matter if it is an empty piece of paper. Only Arnab can do that. Any journalist can sit and explore both sides of an issue with participants. It’s just lazy listening, no maturity required. How many can make up their mind about what’s right and wrong about an issue even before the issue has happened? Only him. It shows that he knows something will happen and knows how he morally feels about it weeks in advance. What happens in the studio later is merely the playing out of how he feels. He isn’t reporting the news, he’s foreseeing it. How long before he stops tragedies from happening? Coming soon, is what I’m saying. Batman, buck up man. And Arnab doesn’t even have an Arnab-mobile (I hope someone from Audi is reading this).

So to him, who is just like Alexander (only greater), Caesar (only more powerful), and Muhammad Ali (only stronger), I will say – ignore your “critics” (whatever that word means) and keep doing what you’re doing Sir, because if you are holding up a piece of paper to show India things, I, your viewer, am holding up a piece of paper in return.  And mine says, “I love you”.

What these fools (read: regular humans) don’t realise is that long after they are gone and the world has ended in floods and earthquakes and your critics and other “journalists” have turned into mud, and all that inhabits the earth are microbes, you’d still be there, every night, sitting in your suit, shouting, “Indiaaaa”, forever, into eternity.

 

 

Comment Policy: We encourage discussion and debate in our comments, among viewers and writers. However comments that are abusive or personal in nature, will be deleted.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (342 votes, average: 4.56 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

 

More from Anuvab Pal


  • http://www.facebook.com/madhukar.nikam Madhukar Nikam

    With due respect to
    your observation indicating overbearing behaviour of Arnab, one cannot but
    admire his home work! He surely is well prepared with the substance ……I agree
    with your observation of his excessive obsession with what he feels as truth , but better then…phoney Bharkha dutt or Rajdeep or forthat matter kanwal

  • Sid

    These article’s tone reminds me of Stephen Colbert for some reason!

  • Jay

    I expected a little more matter out of such wise jesting . Say, take some case for example, where Mr. Arnab G. actually went all-flaw on facts etc. In the authors words, if “Any PANSY can get the facts “, so can you I guess. I am sure there are lots of it.

    • pappu singh

      exactly… very bad peice of writing…

  • Prateek

    Remember “Credibility is like Virginity.”Arbab still has a lot of Credibility when he demands answer unlike “Tell me,tell me what should I tell them fame Radia Diva” and even better than Cash for Vote Good Night Baba.

    I dont agree with author.He just wants to ridicule Arnab and his style.

  • Shivraj

    Absolutely love! Having worked with Arnab for nearly 10 years at NDTV….I hear you…..

    • ravi

      and then yu unleashed on the ‘Indiaan’? lol

  • Dishant Pritamani

    this was awesome! LMAO at you can call its news, weaklings! ure a delight to watch too. more stand up comedy!

  • http://www.facebook.com/samrat.choudhury Samrat X

    Very nicely written, Mr Pal. I’d have loved to have written this, but I think I’m closer to achieving YOUR ambition. And being Bengali helps! :D

    • worldpeace

      Sadly, you dont know that Arnab is an Assamese

  • sandeep deb

    much too long, unfunny & no substance. this piece is as lame as its subject.

  • bong-on-bong

    Oh good grief! Watching AG on TV is like watching reality TV. It is only his opinion that counts and his pre-ordained conclusion is the be-all and end-all of “reasonable opinion”. All I needed to hear is one fat Bengali patting the other on the back for being obnoxious.

    • worldpeace

      Bong-on-Bong – Arnab is a Assamese not a Bengali. Don’t you know that he is an Assamese

  • jay

    Mr. Bong-on-Bong, Arnab is not Bengali, he is Assamese, A fact he very rarely likes to acknowledge.

    • siddus

      Au contraire, he’s the only news anchor whose hometown I know of, thanks to the innumerable times he has said it on tv.

  • hemant

    i am biggggggggg fan of arnab …he actually makes thing in a sitting in th studio itself ….the best reality show ever

  • asgar

    lolz man, u suck, this is bloody brilliant stuff, hats off…! ROFL

  • http://www.facebook.com/sidgoyal1 Siddharth Goyal

    Highly unfunny, stale and boring sarcasm. “These fools don’t realize….blah blah blah…..” (yawn).

  • Arindam

    Pal…Keep this wicked streak going!

  • fang

    wee bit long in d end..could have been better without last para

  • Braindead

    Man! you are a true Indian…Lol :D
    It’s like you read my mind before writing this piece ;)

  • dibya jyoti borah

    he is the real hero to whom every wrong person dares .when i go through the all news channel i always realize that he is d only one who covers all d important issue/news(to common man)from all over the India whether its north,east,south or west. and every journalist (real) should do this. because they r the representative of common man(fourth pillar of our constitution).i proud to say that again india got a real hero from Oxsom & i m his brother (not in real)

  • Ankit Sharma

    This is a brilliant piece!! Its heartening (and refreshing) to see that there are a few who can step out of this melodramatic sensationalized ‘news’ dramas led by self gloating anchors/self-proclaimed personalities – and brilliantly characterize the phenomena by pure sarcasm and wit. Good stuff Anuvab. I wish you have (or can) pick on Barkha Dutt as well. She is right up there competing with Goswami.

  • http://twitter.com/ityaadii Iti Aadii

    Hats off sir! Too good. I’m sharing it right away wherever I can.

  • http://www.facebook.com/simran.nayak.73 Simran Nayak

    http://writersathya.blogspot.in/2009/05/arnab-goswami.html treats it with the irreverence AB deserves

  • Nazir

    U have penned down what most of us think of him. Elegant read !

  • Mahesh Bhat

    Well, you missed one thing Anuvab – there is one person, just one person in this entire known universe who can complete a sentence in Arnab’ show – yeah, Rajini….

    • Shaun the Postman

      But Chuck Norris surely?

  • ranju

    I love u… :D :D :D

  • Vijaya

    The author has penned down eloquently what I was thinking.

  • Alka Gurha

    I simply love this article……but Arnab keep going. Why do you think no one writes about your peers? They are boring and politicaly correct. But you dear are Indiaaan Superman in blue rimmed spectacles. Keep spinning your web….love to see pollies entangled in it.

  • Sumedha

    A Totally Brilliant Assessment of Mr ‘NO’ NATION! Well done Mr Pal

  • Anand

    Anuvab, when are you doing a show at the comedy store purely devoted to Arnab. I’m going to buy all the seats and watch if I have to :)

  • Subbu

    For me, the piece has taken the tone of George Mikes, the British satirist of Hungarian origin. It may not be a bad idea for the author to start the dead master’s ‘How to be’ series. ‘How to be an Arnab Goswami’ would be a good starting point. The author must immortalise for posterity the numerous facets of Arnab. ;)

  • colvks

    Well done piece of lampoon, ready to eat.

  • http://www.facebook.com/kajal.ghose Kajal Ghose

    Lol. I perceive great comic talent. The next Wodehouse is here

  • sam_extreme

    with due respect to writers vocabularial ability i must say dis piece is the most lame,crazy,proudy,nonsence, jealous politicaly unhealthy article hve read recently. feeling pitty on d skill of writing coz even such gud language can bring out such shit sence…lol….as far as arnabh is consider evry indian shud know hu is he, it takes decades to mke a journalist lik him….wel its true value article COZ u gotto read n face sme self proclaimed gud citizen cum critics
    if u become the youngest editor of times of india…..hats off to AG.

    • anon

      “feeling pitty on d skill of writing” ha ha ha

      gud
      cum
      lik
      COZ
      gotto
      d
      proudy
      mke
      hu
      dis
      vocabularial

      And then you feel ‘pitty’ on ‘d’ skill of writing??

      • asgar

        u missed
        sence
        is consider :P

      • sandhya

        lol!! u missed “sence”

      • sandhya

        also… most lame :|

    • SiriN

      With your writing skills, you have the balls to comment on this article ! Have you heard grammar….read up on it. It might help you. Retard !

  • Om

    These comments here are more interesting than the article. Sad and overloaded.

    • Krunal Gandhare

      I would have like to give more than one up vote to you…

  • Hariharan

    Too good. much awaited article abt AG, Arnob is the only anchor who will normally disagree with his panelist based on facts other anchors also disagree with their panelist but not based on facts but on Perception or
    on political terms. Most of the discussion he wont be an anchor just to ask questions but he will become one among the panelist to put facts before the panel and give rebut to incorrect facts. If we observe correctly most of the time he is shouting because of bad audio link the times now channel.

  • shodashi

    stop comparing arnab with others he has his league and aamir has his.. they cater to different audience and the message is same – India … people like you are passionate about one side so much that u forget there’s another side to strike a balance,
    like there’s many pies that add up to make one full circle – my friend enjoy the moment and participate not by writing this article about arnab but being one

  • http://www.facebook.com/swati.ravi Swati Ravi Nain

    Hilarious :D. Your angst is heard, understood acknowledged :D

  • sadhuswarup

    I am so happy to read this post because it describes my feeling more eloquently than I can ever hope to do! I always wonder why the guests or panelists accept to undergo such demeaning experience before a TV audience? The channel must be paying heavily for tolerating this harangue!

  • Vinod

    Anuvab Pal is an opinionated fool and a chamcha of Arnab. It is clear that Arnab loves to hear his voice.What revolution is Anuvab talking about that Arnab has created. He has not changed India at all.he indulges in useless debate, puts down his guests, runs them down with his loud voice and thinks he is smarter than others.Anuvab claims that no Indian will switch of their TVs or change their channels bcoz Arnab is on air. The moment I see him on Times News I switch off the TV or change the channel to NDTV 24×7 where Barka Dutt is more sedate, charming and smiling and courteous towards her guests.And why should I bow down to him when he osn TV.he is no GOD.Period

    Arnab is downright crude, discourteous, loud, noisy, uncouth and loves his own voice.he is highly opinionated.

    • rohit

      Dude, you didn’t get the satire!

      • http://twitter.com/sarahsiddi sarah siddiqui

        he said the same thing ur saying……just being sarcastic!

    • sudhanshu

      oh man u just missed the best satire..

  • http://www.facebook.com/rai.nidhi87 Nidhi Rai

    i liked it,.,,,both the article and the comments,,everybody has the right to have opinions and i think the article is well written because it made me laugh in middle of a busy afternoon at work..the research Arnab is being appreciated is done by researchers and they are paid peanuts for that,,yes he knows how to create DRAMA..that y he is arnab and i m not….everything said and done..Mr Gosawami and Mr Pal..both are fabulous and proficient at what they do,,keep up the good work..

  • Rajesh

    I totally dislike Arnab Goswami (Hate is a weak word). The way he shouts , the way that he forms his opinion and repeatedly stresses it to the point that the guest has no option but to concede to what he says. Prannoy Roy and few others conduct very well but not AG. I am happy with reading news online rather than watch tv

  • Bhaskar

    All you had to write was “Arnab Goswami” is a loud mouth prick” and we would have eneded it there,

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Radhakrishnan-Parameswaran/100000112082635 Radhakrishnan Parameswaran

    The point is that the debates are boring anyway, because if the fault is of the Congress don’t provide them an escape route by inviting the BJP and vice versa. A meaningful debate is lost in the time both blaming each other. Call only the party that has the issue and debate it with that party with analysts and critics who are not wedded to any party. Will any TV Channel do it? I am afraid not. Because they want people to fill up their time through meaningless shouting down and senseless debate which hardly contributes to better governance. Secondly the people whom they invite also matters. An Arun Shourie Cho Ramaswamy, some constitutional experts like Nariman will go a long way. I wrote about it to Arnab in the Times Now viewer’s comment and I know it has been consigned to the dustbin. This is the Standard of our debate and Arnab tries hard to score some VIEWERS RATING. It is sad.

  • Raj

    You know the saying ‘Empty vessel makes more noise’ That fits Arnab to the T.

  • thesupermoop

    I think I’ve split a rib laughing.

    Not at Arnab, though. I wouldn’t dare.

  • siddus

    He’s specially over the top when the debate concerns India Pak relations… he should be sent on the border to assist the jawans

  • http://www.facebook.com/ayan.ganguli Ayan Ganguli

    Salut!
    Brilliant piece..somebody HAD to say this, and only a bong could have pulled it off with such panache. :D
    All respect.

  • Shahenshah

    People, people! This is a satirical piece! It is sad how some of you can not appreciate tone. Gods…

  • Sarah Rod

    Just brilliant! I was cowering under my desk so my peers would not see the reason for my rollicking laughter lest they take it away. Just fantastic!!!

  • Hari’s-everywhere

    Arnab hide…It’s a hiding from an Inexperienced (Anuvab !) PAL…

  • Megz@Eugenicist

    Hahahha…Dude, ur superb! “No no no no no!” genius! On a serious note, thanks for putting into words the angst of many an intelligible TV viewer :)

  • raakshus

    Dada Saheb Phalke receives the Arnab Goswami Award… Nice…

  • http://twitter.com/sarahsiddi sarah siddiqui

    Hillarious!! Yeah Arnab does go that route. Loved the article. But looking at the coments-people should not start taking it seriously. I mean common! Yes these things are true but he is supporting the right things(maybe sometimes over bearingly). You should listen to the pannelists specially from BJP who refuse despite of evidence into their being guilty. So they need the “no,no,no”s in their face! Nevertheless….it was great fun to read your article. Cheers :D

    • Ram singh yadav

      One more stupid anti BJP rant coming from religious angle. Muslims need to grow up. For 1400 years they have not. Flash fact: This is not arabia, we won’t take your opinions without facts.

      • Bhogendra Thakur

        I think even Mr. Arnab will agree he had nothing to do with BJP. Or, am I mistaken?

        • sickular_hunter

          yes you are mistaken..

    • Muslim

      Great Last Two lines Siddiqui – Keep it Up, Well said – Only BJP Panelists refuse despite evidence – 100000% correct. One tight slap on your face will shake u and wake up up to see what Congres Panelists are doing and saying despite every evidence on 2G, Coalscam, bla, bla…bla…
      You people are good for generating babies.

  • SD

    I am not really sure whether you are being sarcastic. But whatever, I love the guy. Nobody entertains like him.

  • sudhee26

    He has a huge belly, which is usually hid under the table :) talks a lot about his Intellectual leanings! hid under a table! above he shows us papers!

  • Vinz

    Reason why he is still poking out of the telly is because TRPs are not that bad I presume and owners are happy and all becos viewers still tune in when they crave pandemonium.. A freak show always has an audience of some form or shape.. He is a miracle of journalistic deviance.. A true oddity for whom an ode of this nature was apt

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1323709613 Rahul Jah

    where can i catch ur stand up acts?????

  • pappu singh

    this is a very bad piece of writing…

  • Kinshuk

    Jab ek kos dur gaon main baccha rota hai, to maan kehti hai, soja bete, nahi to Arnab aa jayega TV par…hey man, you got sparkle in your writing…this guy Arnab Baba has just changed the definition of a TV debate to an informed discourse between howler monkeys, and what’s so wrong with that ? That is Indiaaaaaa…like your article a lot.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Shovon-Chowdhury/507224224 Shovon Chowdhury
  • I am Arnab

    Respect!!!!!

  • Mentis

    Yes he always has somebody to shout at..

  • http://twitter.com/pluday pluday

    Excellent article ! You ought to post a warning at the start of the article – not able to stop laughing and am at my workplace !

  • MBorthakur

    My ‘rolling on the floor laughing’ day! Hilarious, to the bits!

  • kankalina

    Arnab Arnab arnab…….. whatever and however… he is the best. He knows how to hold the viewers………

  • Uncle Sam

    He looks intelligent, because most of the panelists, especially d politicians r dumb…..just chk out d likes of Kapil Sibbal & Arun Jaitley…Arnab sounds stupid and an idiot….Dey dont succumb to the pressure tactics and intellectual gibberish of Arnab…thanks to der argumentative and logical skills…..its jst like…andho mei kana raja….journalism doesnt allow to be perceptive….u just need to break out d news and discuss politely….its for WE, the people to decide….don’t try to rule our heads and add anther chapter to media dominance on every idea dat affects d power circles !!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/midhunsreekumar.menon Midhun Sreekumar Menon

    Brilliant…

  • Gaurav

    Piece of shit… this “Mr. INDIAAA” (AG).

  • http://www.facebook.com/jitendra.shukla.16 Jitendra Shukla

    Damn nice. Loved reading every inch of the article.

  • Santiago

    Amazing…!!!!!!! You stole my thoughts…!!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/arjun.roy.9 Arjun Roy

    Tooo good..only Bong can write such piece for a Bong

  • Rahul

    Bong bang Bong

  • Anupam

    I bow down to you Sir (AnuvabPal) for having the courage to make a humble attempt to unravel the mystery & persona of The Arnab Goswami. Hail Indiaaaaaaaa

  • ginnie

    ha ha ha ha ha ha not laughed as much in ages…. you are a genius

  • http://www.facebook.com/namrata.suri Namrata Suri

    He has the TRPs! well written, very cheeky but funny perspective.

  • Tarun

    Bang on!! Awesome stuff :) Every time he’s out of words or when he realizes that he perhaps may have started uttering words that might not culminate into a proper statement, he unleashes his most powerful weapon – “The People of this country want to know!” :D

  • Abby HS S

    Good piece and hilarious to boot. What better way to convey one’s point eh? Laughed like a loon. Really.

    That said, I think we are so used to sitting-on-the-fence-journos in this country that we have forgotten what it feels like to hold an opinion a firm one and stand for it. This guy does that and in full public view. Can’t remember the last time anyone from the educated, urbane class of journos did that. I say this because if this guy was the typical rowdy chest thumping I love my bharat sorta guy(think India TV and their aliens ek gaai le gaye) it would have been easy to write him off no?
    But no, here he is. Well educated, Speaks well. Good vocabulary, Knows his facts,politicos keep returning again and again to the show where they don’t get a chance to speak for some reason.Weird no?
    Most people and specially journos are just shit scared to do anything beyond the usual,”but don’t you think…?” And with certain journos of another variety who choose to cover their political and other leanings with a debate that steers all POVs towards one agenda. Theirs. Or rather whoever’s stooges they are at that moment. After all a guy’s (or gurl) gotta think about post retirement benefits no?
    Give me Arnab anyday.

    ”…”balanced” coverage that plagues American journalism and which leads to utterly spineless reporting with no edge. The idea seems to be that journalists are allowed to go out to report, but when it comes time to write, we are expected to turn our brains off and repeat the spin from both sides. God forbid we should attempt fairly assess what we see with our own eyes. “Balanced” is not fair, it’s just an easy way of avoiding real reporting…and shirking our responsibility to inform readers. ”-Ken Silverstein

    http://www.ojr.org/ojr/people/robert/201204/2066/ (Why it’s okay to be partisan and not insult the intelligence of your viewers/readers.)

    • http://www.facebook.com/pratap.nair.58 Pratap Nair

      Arnab Gosawmi- On your programme on 19th October, you started like a lion with a lot of charges against IAC, but finished like a mouse with no defence. Will you be honest enough to tell this nation why you are supporting the corrupt? My e mail is pratap39@gmail.com. I look forward to your response. If you want a live debate Arnab vs Pratap,, I am willing any time any place.

      • raj panchal

        was this the one in which he was against the IAC forming an internal lokpal or was it the day when the IAC did the nitin gadkari expose?? on both days even i found a big difference between the first five minutes and the rest of the program..
        i think the reason was that there were more issues at hand to slam about than the IAC not living upto the sky high expectation.. and he might also have realized that it was the media who had hyped the whole thing up to make it a big expose and that the IAC was not at fault..
        the other case i am not sure why he changed stances

        but anyways i was happy with the fact that he changed his stance from bashing the IAC to bashing corrupt politicians..

        P.S : I believe in arnab goswami!! whatever he says!!

  • DB

    Good piece and hilarious to boot. What better way to convey one’s point eh? Laughed like a loon. Really.
    That said, I think we are so used to sitting-on-the-fence-journos in this country that we have forgotten what it feels like to hold an opinion a firm one and stand for it. This guy does that and in full public view. Can’t remember the last time anyone from the educated, urbane class of journos did that. I say this because if this guy was the typical rowdy chest thumping I love my bharat sorta guy(think India TV and their aliens ek gaai le gaye) it would have been easy to write him off no?
    But no, here he is. Well educated, Speaks well. Good vocabulary, Knows his facts,politicos keep returning again and again to the show where they don’t get a chance to speak for some reason.Weird no?
    Most people and specially journos are just shit scared to do anything beyond the usual,”but don’t you think…?” And with certain journos of another variety who choose to cover their political and other leanings with a debate that steers all POVs towards one agenda. Theirs. Or rather whoever’s stooges they are at that moment. After all a guy’s (or gurl) gotta think about post retirement benefits no?
    Give me Arnab anyday.
    ”…”balanced” coverage that plagues American journalism and which leads to utterly spineless reporting with no edge. The idea seems to be that journalists are allowed to go out to report, but when it comes time to write, we are expected to turn our brains off and repeat the spin from both sides. God forbid we should attempt fairly assess what we see with our own eyes. “Balanced” is not fair, it’s just an easy way of avoiding real reporting…and shirking our responsibility to inform readers. ”-Ken (From Barbie)

  • Rama Sreekant

    Thank you for a good and hearty laugh! Loved every word of this piece!

  • aniruddha g. kulkarni

    “Jane Carlyle was once asked by a friend what
    John Sterling, the subject of her husband’s Life of John Sterling, had
    ever done in his life to rate a biography, and she replied: ‘Induced Carlyle
    somehow to write him one.’ And so a parody of a badly written novel or a
    vainglorious autobiography may very well annoy its subject, but it is also an
    acknowledgement that the writer being parodied is worth criticising.”…I don’t think Mr. Goswami is worth criticising…he stands for the worst media has to offer us today

  • Dolly

    An absolute muppet! What waste of space, huh?

  • Dr.shashidhara balagete

    Yes AG is a hero by himself. He is a dissector for finding the absolute truth.

  • Pingback: Arnab Goswami: Messiah of the Comics

  • local_yokel

    Meanwhile, 91 posts later we havent yet reached a consesnus on whether AG needs a prostate massage stat. Indiaaa, why do you rhyme so well with fuuuuuu……………..

  • R.Thyagarajan

    It reflects the reality. We also see the foreign channels and how the anchors conduct this kind of programme has exceeded my imagination. He speaks as if he is a lawer as depicted in Hindi Cinemas. The anchor has to be impartial and listen to others. But alas, he declares the ruling on each and every matter. Of course other channels are not lagging behind as they too compete for TRP ratings.

  • ahem

    this guy is simply great…..good english and command

  • Anuj

    Mr Anuvab Pal with such bad piece of writing and utter distasteful thoughts you will remain “Anuvab Pal”. I can only guess but on thorough examination it will be proved that your are not ‘normal’. So since you are not normal(and need treatment), atleast try to act like one. And finally stop writing, its not your cup to tea.

  • Anuj

    Please don’t delete comments which are criticize you..when you put your article in public domain then you need to face the critics too..in case you wonder what comment i am referring to then you need to check your conscience and ask yourself why you deleted my earlier comment which must not have been to your liking..you need to grow up just a little bit..thanks and hope this comment is not deleted..Peace

  • Sandy

    I read the article and I say, “Oh boy! a fantastic piece of satire. Rare, because we hardly get to see it on print. ”
    I look at the comments and I say, ” Have people lost their appreciation of satire? Or, are they so driven by the seriousness of life that they rise in being judges of a piece of satire without keeping their humour intact…and oh, the irony of it all!”
    Fabulous piece. I did not roll in laughter but heck, chuckled a lot!

  • Nishet Singh

    Personally, i feel Arnab Goswami is everything a journalist shouldn’t be, and Anuvab Pal is everything that a stand up comedian should be……….. but this article is much more than that, its about a man telling you that sometimes you make fun of what some people do but that doesnt mean that you dont have the utmost respect for their work…… You have to watch Anuvab bring the house down with his Arnab Goswami jokes to know what i am talking about……

  • Away

    This is absolutely hilarious. Thank you.

  • krissy

    Hilarious and you hit the point. But the problem is, I still watch him as I have to choose my poison. Atleast there is drama, and he questions the ruling party as well as the opposition in the same tone..unlike other channels. So my verdict is that ‘He is the sweet poison’ amongst the bitter poisons.

  • sonia

    i am a fan of Arnab even though at times he seems conscious of his charm he is sometimes rude and immature.. but the other journos seem chickenhearted before him… but inspite of all that he is too good… feel so alive watching him

  • hidetaga yahiko

    arnab is far better the those paid media of NDTV and CNN IBN..who see eveything the hindus do as being anti secular..i feel most m seein a congress part PR whn i see NDTV or CNN IBN..shameful..

  • Bibhash

    “…this is where satyamev comes to do his jayate and hang out…” brilliant!

  • parachi

    I laughed so loud while reading this ! masterpiece indeed.

  • praachi

    Masterpiece! You are the king of satire… hats off to you sir!!

  • iammoron

    arnab is a brain sucker……

  • Anand

    A belated salve on the open wounds of tormented politicians and everyone who lost their eye sights to Goswani radiation.

  • Prashant

    jealous much??

  • Diksha

    I was just googling to know who Arnab Goswami is ’cause I had come across his name in a tweet about his ‘anger’ and am not from India so I don’t know much about Indian reporters but by reading this u didn’t only make laugh with your humor but also fall in love with Arnab Goswami…Well- written article !

  • vandana

    Yest I have watched Arnab Goswami debate show with both pakistan and india representators.
    I cant beleive the way the show went.Arnab was just trying to put a fight between the groups. I really disagree the way he has been hosting the show. He is just trying to use the agitated people for his publicity.
    He can be allowed to talk any internal matters within India, but India-Pak affair is so sensitive to be played with. No wonder the sivasena ppl will become even more agressed with such comments… He is just adding fuel to the fire.
    He is no person to represent whole India. Because of him, there is no difference between the 2 countries now.
    As a responsible citizen of India, I want this situation to suffice and not get more worsen.
    Arnab pls stop using the media for ur own purpose.

  • Dave Swami

    Ripped quite a bit of the Colbert speech at the White House correspondents dinner where he took down Bush Jr. ‘Inspired’ you didn’t it Mr. Pal? Well anyway even if you’re not terribly original you have good taste at the least.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Arun-Kumar-Saxena/100002541830588 Arun Kumar Saxena

    ARNAB GOSWAMI DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO LOSE
    .HIS ANCHORING IS WELL-RESEARCHED
    .HE IS AT HIS AGGRESSIVE BEST IN INDO-PAK DEBATES IN THE COMPANY OF INDIA’S TOP DEFENCE STRATEGIST CALLED MAROOF RAZA.
    THE BEST TRAIT IN ARNAB IS HIS ABILITY TO FIGHT BACK WHEN SURROUNDED BY THE CONGRESS MORONS.
    LET THE TIMES NOW INSTITUTE THE” ARNAB GOSWAMI BEST ANCHOR AWARD” TO BE CONFERRED EVERY YEAR.
    A K SAXENA (A retired civil servant)
    blog.aksaxena.co.in
    http://www.aksaxena.co.in

  • chirayu

    Any panelist utters a word against media and this guy is electrocuted! …” we here at TIMES NOW…”….there is a code of conduct even in court of law against criminals too….he has his own judiciary !!
    the interview with abhijeet mukherjee ” dented painted”…okay that was cheap of him…but cant scold anybody endlessly on media !….especially when he apologised first up…and i see that video going viral on FB….what has happened to all of us??

  • Aditi

    Mr Anuvab Pal,Please just tell me that you’re still single and up for the grabs!?

  • Akriti Gupta

    HAHAHAHA JESUS CHRIST. This write up is amazing.

  • sukkanyah

    After AB baby it is ABG,arnab goswamy,this swamy I totally loauvha,given my instinctual aborhence fr the swamye innumerable on my indian soil.
    Arnab,yeah thank god for him,now I don’t have to waste my hardearned money and go and watch innane jamura s,pretending to play heroes on the celluloid.Arnab is dealing superbly with all those who have been taking us-ordinary citizens of India ,for aride.I am just fidda on his matter-of.fact stance,his no.holds.barred approach,his total lack kf apology ,when he questions the intentions /actions of the people in power.
    It is high time we,at least a majority of us Indians became as brave,bold and courageous like Arnab.
    regds Sukkanyah

  • sudeep raj

    Just too good. Never read a more sarcastic artilce.

  • HarishNayak

    David Letters of India.

  • avinash

    Its a good article. Made me laugh and has the right amount of sarcasm. But I truly like Arnab because he is questioning some of the very dearly held beliefs, some tenets that have kind of become sacrosanct. No other anchor has the guts to do that. I do not like him when he shuts up people who do not toe his line – I hate that. But overall, I would rather watch him than any other anchor. Almost all other anchors carry the staleness of indian politics, the staleness of points that have become guiding principles without them being questioned at all.

  • anti matter

    in the midst of the humor was the message missed…or is this badralok bonding….R v kidding ourselves to believe that AG is good for us…its a boorish,raucous,cacophony night after night with vacuous arguments and inane observations.Unfortunately India doesn’t like to compare-for if they could they would look at Tim Robinson or David Frost or why even Anderson Cooper or Piers Morgan where they are so understated but in total control,and yet deliver the killer punch.AG treats this as a Bollywood set where there is only one hero while he pulverizes his enemies ..The real anchors are never judgmental and keep their personal opinions to themselves.That crop of NDTV offspring including Barkha,Rajdeep,Prannoy(in his earlier stage) are all one load of self opinionated,hyper,cackling set of geese…This is that stock that came at the crack of dawn when the industry opened up..so the self anointed pioneers decided the road ahead without self regulation or a stick to control themselves.They are caught in their own personas..its sick to see AG doing what he does as its repulsive.Somehow we Indians love to see underdogs being pounded day in and day out as that’s one way of overcoming our frustrations….DO THESE JOKERS REALIZE WHAT DAMAGE THEY DO OUR IMAGE ABROAD WHERE THIS CRAP IS BEAMED ACROSS THE GLOBE AND OUR OWN INDIANS FEEL SELF DEPRECATED AND APOLOGIZE FOR THE STATE OF THE COUNTRY THEY ARE IN,ALL FOR AG’S THIRST FOR TRP….DOES NOT INDIA HAVE ANYTHING GOOD TO TELL…DOES BBC AND CNN TALK OF ONLY THEIR COUNTRIES UNDER BELLY OR DO THEY SHOWCASE THEIR BACK BONE….THINK INDIA,PLEASE DON’T FOLLOW BLINDLY WHAT WE SEE AND HEAR–GEN NEXT NEEDS HOPE NOT HOPELESSNESS AG STYLE!!!THEY ARE GROWING UP ON JUNK FOOD AND NOW JUNK NEWS!!

  • http://twitter.com/divyapurnaiya Divya Purnaiya

    nice one!!! u feel the nation …good article….and again India has won ( the only problem is that, even in jest its creepy to say u look up to the guy! sigh!!!! ) :))

  • http://twitter.com/divyapurnaiya Divya Purnaiya

    …And pls do Barkha next!!

    • Thaen Tamil

      Barkha next!!???? do you want some one to waste his or her time.. only criminal things will come out..

  • http://www.facebook.com/priyaggarwal Priya Aggarwal

    superb! I don’t know why I find every article related to him so damn funny but this is all just so true :D

  • Jyoti Thyagarajan

    Anuvab, this was brilliant. and EXACTLY what I think. I love Arnab most when he has no idea what he is going to say next. And while he is rifling through his papers for the most offensive question his researchers have written down for him, he repeats the same three previous words about 20 times, just to keep outshouting his interviewee! And the three words can be something inane (oops … sorry, obliquely brilliant) like “what do you” …. “what do you” ….

  • AMK

    hahahaha, brilliant man, really brilliant.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Uday-Shankar/1675585355 Uday Shankar

    Arnab Goswami is nothing more than a Joker…His sounds like Grrrrrr…Woof Woof Woof….Grrrrrrr…go to hell

  • Chirag Aidasani

    Arnab Goswami is not at all a Good journalist . I am in J-school as well and the first rule of Journalism is not to be opinionated . Just today i saw the debate regarding 2 pictures released by A britsh channel called changed 4 where it shows Prabhakarans son shot down by the lankan army . The debate was hoisted on Ndtv with Barkha duty interviewing a set of panel and on times now Arbab Goswami interviewing a panel. And the common guest was subramanian swamy in both those debates.

    There was a huge difference in the way the debate was conducted .
    Im not a fan of Barkha duty especially since the Radia tapes controversy but she gave everyone a fair chance to speak out their opinions and not pass regardless of what they
    Whereas Arnab goswami , it was clear that his mind was made up that this is the verdict and the dude didn’t even allow Dr.subramanian swamy to speak freely .He kept on contradicting him at every point (One minute dr.swamy , one minute dr.swamy)

    Now , whatever may be how barkha dutt conducted the debate was how a journalist should conduct a debate , a journalist is not supposed to give his verdict or opinions just report facts and what political personalities think and have to say .

    And sorry but the news hour is just noise to any sane journalist . My journalist lecturers give examples of him that what a journalist shouldn’t do .

    Bottom line is – The news hour is just an entertainment show where people have fun watching arnab bullying people .

    • Vinay Mani

      i truly accept that news hour is just entertainment ! bullying all and audience having fun time , this is not journalism

  • Mohana

    I loved your article and am a crazy arnab goswami fanatic myself. but its stupid to satyamev jayate useless, atleast unlike other actors, that man cared to get up and do something simply for the country and brought out a lot of issues to the public eye. yes he might not be as vociferous and opinionated as mr. goswami but every effort counts in a country like ours. nonetheless. hail arnab goswami.

  • Rina Sen

    I loved it Anubhav. Hopefully Arnab will be sporting enough to see the diff shades of grey (truths) in it. Well done!! Rina Sen

  • http://www.facebook.com/abhay.k.gupta.9 Abhay Kumar Gupta

    nothing left to say about dear Arnab, every thing has been said in article so nicely and honestly ,” lot of love ” to Arnab and the admirer who wrote the article

  • Natasha

    Brilliant!

  • aloha

    mediocre article…. everyone knows everyone could do arnab does on the tv show, but he reached there first…. too bad for the bengali brat

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lakshmi-Prashant/100000047585650 Lakshmi Prashant

    Hilarious satire about the overbearing and discourteous TV anchor who acts like the messiah of what “India wants to know today’ for TRP ratings..

  • http://twitter.com/mnair99 Manoj

    Good one indeed !

  • Labrinto Loco

    The one thing I never understand is why Times Now invites #SurrogateJha to the debates. These days Arnab does not even allow him space for a single sentence, he is just brought in to represent all sides.

  • priya

    Awesome .. your article just reflected and represented our views !! I am tired of contacting and writting letters and mails forwarding to all of the times now heads.. finally I came to a conclusion that its hallucination thanks to god I am not crazy but people actually are here who feels the same way.. my only request to mr.arnab is to let others talk atleast a word or two for a start we cant expect miracles to happen over night and mr. Arnab

  • GARIMA JINDAL

    Just a single word “OUTSTANDING” ! It has the pace, the passion and the spark that @arnabgoswami has. @AnuvabPal

  • Carvaka

    He should be periodically reminded of his performance when 26/11 was under way. Screaming his lungs out at the proposal to blank out TV coverage. How many more people he and his kind helped to kill!

    • jatin

      Its not him but burka dutt who murdered civilians and armymen with her foolish reporting

  • Veeru

    Hard to remember me laughing so hard in the recent past! sarcasm everywhere, yet the article hits very hard. I don’t know if Arnab Goswami read this, if not would recommend him to read this :)

  • indianfeminist101

    I laughed out so hard that my laptop screen was covered in spit!!! Superb sense of humour and great writing.

  • iv

    Brilliantly Written – haven’t stopped laughing at all but coming to think of it…it does make jingoists like me happy to see him take on powerful and corrupt politicians and others :)

  • Vineet

    Arnab: No.. no.. no.. no..
    Guest: Arey, let me speak first..
    Arnab: No.. No.. No.. no
    U are invited just to listen, here on newshour India speaks, our fellow Indian speaks, Arnab speaks for them ..

  • deepika

    So so so so heartening to read this article. There is one thing I can sense in Arnab- its his sincerity. Yes, his sincere screaming is WAY WAY better than the other insincere outbursts. And for people who do watch his show, he does give everybody a chance to speak and to rebut. What’s more he is a participant in the debate who himself would rebut and not a mere facilitator/moderator. I mean who wants them? He is the real news anchor. The rest are just clever actors.

  • MS

    Arnab is taking his anger out like a normal Indian would do, not able to control his emotions at times. But I am a great fan of him!

  • Bhogendra Thakur

    Most authentic analysis of my beloved Arnab!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • parag

    hey whats your name..stop writing your rubbish analysis on arnob..okay maybe he is fake..but atleast he has the bloody guts to confront those ministers and make them pie in their pants ..what else do you want …do you expect people to go to your rubbish analysis..i think you are a loser…sorry anyway

  • jatin

    Well he is way better than the gutter grade journalist and editors of cnn ibn and ndtv 24×7

    • Thaen Tamil

      Very True. He is far far better than CNN IBN and NDTV 24×7… Even we can consider CNN IBN to an extent NDTV is rock bottom. cheap Slum TV. They even Manipulate the comments we post in their website if its not in favour of congress…. Every article regarding BJP and Modi will have 2002 riots and fake encounters…

  • hekarsa

    Alexander (Only greater). Loved it, as much as i love Arnab

  • LEAD INDIA

    ARNAB is the person who India actually needs. i have heard many people call him biased and always throwing his opinions on others but the truth is that his opinions are the opinions of the entire nation and they are always correct. I am tired of the journalists who just show that they have a neutral stance but this man knows what is correct and fights for it every night on weekdays at 9.
    And i am conteded that atleast someone is shouting questions on the politicians face which i would have personally liked to shout with double anger and intensity.
    SO ARNAB SIR YOU ROCK AND WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! NEVER CHANGE:)

  • manisha

    You cracked me up.
    Can u show me the paper some day.:-))

  • Radhakrishnan Parameswaran

    I wrote to Arnab that when an issue is discussed to invite only the affected party – be the Congress or BJP and not both. Instead of the issue the two accuse each other and everything is lost. When he did not do this I know all channels do it that way, as it is an escape route when they are cornered. It is a pity that we don’t have the right platform to make the politicians accountable. I congratulate Newlaundry for its small step to expose these crooks

  • pragati

    fabulous it is! cant stop laughing :)

  • aj

    This guy is hopeless commentator – learn something from American journalism how they present the material, how the participants are in control.
    Hard to understand his English, no self control,
    His show is Kaan, kaan (like crow) and nothing else.

  • Vinita Singh

    never ever,never ever,ever ever,never never-(12 times) better than this .good work

  • Aditya

    a very witty and interesting writeup. the spirit that arnab goswami embodies is one of no nonsense, no bullshit (and please oh please no straying from the topic). That he has become a figure who is made fun of in our friend and family circles cannot just be attributed to the fact that he is extremely loud, arrogant and at times demeaning, but rather to a sense of belongingness that he has generated in the hearts of many middle class Indians. we love him, hence we kid about him. but in the end we are indeed all going to sit down and watch that show which is the old man’s version of twenty-twenty on the news channel. That said, he makes a LOT of sense too. never will you find an arnab goswami interjection factually wanting or logically flawed. and that is the mojo of the man- this fiercely logical and opinionated reporter (ah yes i forgot about the opinionated part. heavens does he ignore impartiality as a fundamental duty of a journalist in the majority of his debates and yet we somehow know that any opinion of his is not politically charged. with this honesty, he has earned the much needed credibility that has allowed him to earn for his show soaring TRPs and him a very visible role in our daily life).

  • chitra lakshmi

    I really love Arnab goswami. He is unbelieveable. True indian without Fear. LOVVVVEEE U ARNAB,

  • Arshel Akhter

    Love him or Hate him, you can’t ignore him. He has mastered the art of creating sensation and playing to the gallery. It is a fact that most people like to take sides to various issues and very few people actually understand nuanced discussions. He understands this fact very well and takes sides in each and every discussion he conducts. He loves to corner his panelists on issues he feels the majority will side with his views and arguments. He does not believe in nuanced and unbiased discussions even though the channel may claim to be so. He must have taken cue from Fox News, the US based news channel which even though takes up sides and puts up their own biased views on each and every issue, is a very successful and popular channel. This kind of reporting and conducting discussion/talk shows also happens in a lot of Hindi news channels and other vernacular language news channels. The only difference is that the English speaking, urban and ‘elitist’ Indian people who think of themselves as very intelligent and knowledgeable have not seen such behavior in the other Indian English news channels. The impact Arnab has created by his way of reporting can be seen in the way channels like Headlines Today (Rahul Kanwal) and 9X News conducts their prime time (telecast during the 9PM to 10PM time slots). They have started emulating Arnab. The only exceptions being NDTV and CNN IBN who have consciously tried to maintain a different or rather their original identities. But even these channels can be sheen to telecast such discussion/talk shows with either their Editor-in-chief’s or their top draw reporters/journalists during the same time slots as Arnab’s Newshour. Apart from that this field (journalism) has become very competitive with new channels coming up every now and then to cover the same news. They have to create their own identities and brands to grab more eyeballs and stay on top of the others. I congratulate Arnab Goswami that has has become very successful in creating his own brand (an easy pointer would be the recent Flipkart ad where politicians are shown discussing the topic of online shopping in a talk show the host of which acts, talks and behaves the way Arnab does).

  • Nitin Chopra

    This is hilarious!! Cracked me up. Anuvab Pal – I’m a fan.

    Arnab Goswami – the Chuck Norris of Journalism!!

    Jokes aside-he is annoying. Its a shame he has these great panels but no one else gets to talk. Its funny when you start typing his name in google, how ‘arnab goswami idiot’ comes up as the 2nd or 3rd suggestion – thats how I got here.

  • Mukesh Kumar

    Hilarious. Loved every bit of it. There is so much love between Arnab and Newslaundry, my God they are made for each other. ;)

  • avneet

    past one month I am noticing the biased nature of his debates. He shamelessly speak in the favor of BJP, may be because he don’t want to upset the present govt fearing that they may reveal channel’s investment source.

    But I dont enjoy his biased debates. He has become so pro-BJP and you will see a decline in TRP very soon.

  • Guest

    @Anuvab Pal-you echo my views when you say,”… ignore your ‘critics’ (whatever that word means) and keep doing what you’re doing Sir, because if you are holding up a piece of paper to show India things, I, your viewer, am holding up a piece of paper in return.and mine says, “I love you”.” Arnab is our hero..people may complain that he shouts,but they’ll continue to like him because he’s not biased towards any political party,he stands up for

  • Raksha Shetty

    @Anuvab Pal- you echo my thoughts when you say,”…ignore your “critics” (whatever that word means) and keep doing what you’re doing Sir, because if you are holding up a piece of paper to show India things, I, your viewer, am holding up a piece of paper in return..and mine says, “I love you” :) (So sweet!)

  • Tara

    Ha Ha. Hilarious. Only Arnab can hold out a random piece of paper and call out to the winds with the reverberating Indiaaaaaa. I <3 Arnab.

  • rohiiijeee

    arnab goswami is the Bill O’Rielly of indian news media..he has copied the fox news format completely…i guess it will take an Indian Jon Stewart to call Arnab qtiyapa’s bluff…..mind you, he has bluffed too many times…arnab goswami is responsible for a lot of misinformation today