Delhi Police’s new self-defence videos tell women how to kick some serious ass
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Delhi Police’s new self-defence videos tell women how to kick some serious ass

Go for the “naazuk ang”.

By Mahima Singh

Published on :

Warning: This piece contains violence and graphic imagery.

Imagine it’s the middle of the day and you are walking towards your car. Suddenly, someone attacks you from behind and tries to steal your handbag. Would you fight back? Would you know how to?

The Delhi Police is at your service with its latest videos, “Self Defence Techniques for girls by Delhi Police” part 1 and part 2. The videos were put up on the YouTube channel of the Union Ministry of Women and Child Development yesterday.

Great stuff actually, you guys should totally spend your time and internet pack on it.

Now, the videos are just like any other self-defence video guide under 20 minutes. They explain only a select few situations and techniques, not taking into account the fact that the attacker may strike back. Despite the shaky execution, we think it’s a good initiative. In today’s world, especially in Delhi, knowing some amount of self-defence is always better than being helpless.

The video starts with Delhi Police Commissioner Bhim Sain Bassi telling us that the techniques shown in the videos are a “mix” of the best martial arts practices out there and that girls can “dhool chatao” men who misbehave with them using these techniques.

So, since men cannot change, we women have to train to protect ourselves.

I’m going to tell you how.

Apart from giving us instructions on knee jabs, elbow jabs, head-butts and how to use your hand bag as a murder weapon, the video also tell us to “kick ‘em in the nuts”. But the Delhi Police words it more elegantly.

Basically, kick those balls!

The videos are quite informative and even though it may not have upped my combat skill level, I do know a little more about self-defence than I did before.

Like the wrist twist from hell.

If someone grabs your wrist then rotate that wrist anti-clock wise and pull.

Neat trick, right? I thought it was pretty cool.

There’s also the “make-him-lose-balance” trick.

If someone has you pinned down (non-consensually) like in the above image, then move your arms up and away from your head. This will make him lose balance because he is putting all his weight on your wrists.

You’ll also like the nice lady narrator who introduces possible scenarios of attack philosophically.

“Kudrat ki di khubsoorti har ladki ke liye vardaan hai, aura agar koi ise abhishrap banaane ki koshish kare, to usi kudrat ka diya saahas har ladki ki taakat hai.”

There is a line she says in front of a Delhi flyover that mirrors society so well that it makes you question development.

Humara samaaj lagataar vikas kar raha hai… lekin humare samaaj mein logo ki soch ka vikas aaj bhi nahi ho paya hai

(Discussing the video with a few of my male colleagues, I was a little surprised that they found the video redundant. They think that women shouldn’t react at all. Reacting will get men more excited and worse things could happen.)

Thankfully, our ladies in the video are buying none of that.

Valar morghulis

Kill Bill with your hair pin.

Stab him with his own knife.

This is Sparta.

Basically, the same thing.

Another Game of Thrones reference.

Don’t forget to run the hell away.

Some of my favourite scenes from the videos show women satisfied after having brought a man to the ground.

You better be scared. 

You touch me and I will Rohtak-sisters your ass.

Now, I have a feeling this video is going to do what Taylor Swift’s Bad Blood couldn’t. After watching this video, there are going to be scores of bad-ass ladies walking away from explosions they set off with their bare hands, while trampling over the quivering bodies of all the men who wronged them. No seriously, give it a week.

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