Hello, and welcome to The Third Slip. The weekly newsletter which, like its eponymous fielding position on a cricket field, seems very close to the action, but very rarely catches anything, is in a terrible position to review any of the action and has a skewed left of centre POV. Nonetheless, we try to catch what does come our way.

This is issue 91. 91, of course, was the year India opened up its economy to newer possibilities and markets. While it seemed like a progressive move, it wasn’t like there was any other alternative for a stagnant economy #Only90sKidsWontRememberThis. And so, 91 is the issue in which we open up to external audiences to try and up our stagnant subscriber count with the help of Newslaundry and also when we try  to answer the question—what happens when you put a slipper into a laundry cycle—does the slipper get clean or does it dirty the laundry? But first, the news…

At Home:

Ballot Fallout: In a compelling argument for the existence of Santa Claus, the BJP, a party that got the venerable Yogi Adityanath to address 71 election rallies, lost this week in three heartland Hindi states: MP, Rajasthan and Chhattisgarh. Maybe people are finally seeing through all that Hindutva rubbish? This will have massive repercussions for 2019 (even if it’s just renewed vigour by Amit Shah). But, there’s lotus to unpack because the new CM of MP is Congress leader Kamal Nath—who has been implicated in the anti-Sikh riots of 1984 #Only90sKidsWontRememberThisAlso. Anyway, better get used to saying “Rahul Gandhi for PM”, even if you don’t really mean it.

Return Flight: Mallya might get extradited back to India, where some banks and unpaid Kingfisher employees will be waiting for him with glee. There are only two certainties in his life now—debt and taxes.

Das in charge of Capital: In another blow to the central government, Urjit Patel tendered his resignation as RBI governor this week for personal reasons. One can only assume that the aforementioned personal reason is his serendipitous discovery of a backbone as he got a haircut in his local salon and caught a glimpse of his spine in one of those opposing mirrors. The new RBI governor though is Shaktikanta Das, the Modi government’s point person for demonetisation. But, at least we should be thankful he’s not a bigoted cowsbeforehouse maniac.

Mark as scam: In a shot in the arm for the ruling government, the Supreme Court apparently gave a clean chit on the Rafale deal. But as it turned out, the Opposition alleged that it was based on a report that does not exist and accused the government of misleading the apex court. The government has in turn said, that the judgement had a typo. To be fair, everytime we type out something profound and insightful, it gets autocorrected to a horrible pun. We sympathise with the government here.

Reliance Alliance: What’s common to The Third Slip and Antilia? They both have too many stories and make very little sense. Oh yeah, that wedding thing happened (a reception too).

Around the World

In what’s already a pretty chaotic year, this week has been a jabberwocky by itself (a small hat-tip to Better Off Ted fans).

The gift that keeps on leaving: Poor Theresa May! She never wanted Brexit, is now being forced to negotiate Brexit, the EU mocked her and finally gave her Brexit, now her own parliament said meh to Brexit (but still voted to keep her in power meaning she will be further saddled with Brexit), and now we might be back to the drawing board where the people of Britain are being asked if they want to Brexit while poor May goes back to the EU to try and get a better Brexit. Phew. Gotta feel for her. Just like Chetan Sharma will forever be remembered for conceding that six, May will go down in history as the protagonist of Britain’s best comedy after Yes, Minister #Will90sKidsRememberThis?.

Internal combustion engine: The metaphor of the week—maybe year—was when May went to meet Merkel, only to be stuck in her car while trying to get out.

Someone’s Cohen to prison: Trump’s ex-personal lawyer is headed to the slammer and said “he was suffering for his client’s dirty deeds”. Also, the tabloid that was paid to keep quiet about Trump’s naughty doings is talking. Oh Bob Mueller, you beauty. Also, a spy who was accused of linking American conservatives to Russians pleaded guilty. And to continue a rare positive week, the US Senate took one step closer to ending the war in Yemen and implicating Saudi Arabia’s crown prince for Jamal Khashoggi’s murder.

Data baes: Just when the US and China were about to become friends again, comes along news that Chinese hackers were the chaps responsible for the Marriott data leak. But surely Trump helping out that errant Huawei CFO should help?

POTY training: Jamal Khashoggi and other journalists were named TIME’s Person Of The Year. We are quickly going to stake a claim here before someone cuts us out. After all, TIME and edit wait for no one.

Tech

Location, Location, Location:  Yup, Google’s tracking you. More than you thought you knew.

Prime real estate: Looks like New York doesn’t want Amazon’s shiny new HQ in their city, though a “goodwill tour” seems to be paying off.

Issue of lies: And here are tech’s biggest lies from 2018 (lol crypto).

Trickle down economics: AKA what happens when you care about making more money than about leaks. Facebook is searching for new monetisation options (and accidentally leaked 7 million private photos). Also, they don’t really seem to care for fact-checking.

By the way

Avuncular clarity: No matter how hard you work, a good part of your life will be spent explaining how technology works to older uncles. Sundar Pichai had to tell geriatric Congressmen why Trump’s face shows up when you Google “idiot”.

Copping a blow by blow: The banter between a police department and someone they wanted to arrest is the funniest thing you’ll see this week. TL;DR: guy comments on Facebook thread that he will turn himself in, and does so eventually—after about a week.

Weird flex, but okay: The only reason you’d need a 48 megapixel camera phone is if you want to print out a giant-ass flex or hoarding. But, they’re here. Now go buy one because you’ve subscribed to this hedonic treadmill.

LinkedOut

• What if we just stopped all this trying-to-save-the-world stuff?
• There is no easy answer to “what’s the right number of taxis?”
• Those food delivery execs definitely deserve a better deal. Tip ‘em.

That’s it for this week. If you’d like to find us outside of this newsletter and you aren’t Google or Facebook creepily tracking everything we do, you can find us on Twitter (Chuck | Tony) and Instagram (Chuck | Tony). If you’d like to send us virtual beers or feedback, email us. If you like The Third Slip, subscribe and tell your friends too. If you dislike it, sign up that annoying person from work who uses an overcrowded elevator to go to the first floor from the ground floor. Until next week, may you have time for a stimulating coffee before your meeting because all the signals turned green just for you. Bye!

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