Dear lamb-burning, work-shy communist peasants,

Comrade Abhinandan has been compromised. Also, something your listeners should pay heed to. My reasoning is as follows:

1. Abhinandan admitted to the usefulness of markets in price discovery a few Haftas ago. The very mechanism for sustaining tyranny.
2. He dared criticise the interpreted gospel of Marx, The Wire, for being too ideological. A sure sign of being a bhakt.
3. Unlike the patron saints of self-righteous indignation Arundhati Roy and Gauri Lankesh, he doesn’t have an automatic hatred of the Indian diaspora, who pay for his content, sustaining his tyrannical regime.

From his former days of burning crisp new notes in front of a Marx/Lenin idol, he now burns Marx and Lenin posters in front of a gold-cast diamond-studded rupee symbol.

So Abhinandan is many things, a capitalist pig, a member of the ruling elite, bourgeois, not very funny, a reactionary cultural hegemon, periodically whiny, but he damn sure is not a tree-hugging leftie-commie hippie.

Ab sab milke bolo: Har har Market dev ki (pause for effect) Jai!!!!

In Richness and Wealth,
Shady Zillionaire (Siddharth Tourani)