Here are a few reasons why you clicked on the link to this piece:

1. The headline is catchy.
2. You want to troll this piece. (In which case, go right ahead.)
3. You feel like you’ll get a new argument out of this, which you can then use during torrid discussions with your friends and family. (In which case, I will oblige. Wait for it.)
4. You like Newslaundry. (In which case, thank you very much and #PayToKeepNewsFree.)
5. You like the author of this piece. (In which case, thank you again and #PayToKeepMeEmployed.)
6. You clicked on it by mistake. (In which case, it’s alright. You can now choose to close the tab or continue reading. No offense taken either way.)
7. You want to read another hot take about the Greta Thunberg “controversy”, #ClimateStrike and climate change in general.

If you’re here because of point 3 or point 7, Thunberg is winning. She has your attention and so do I. Now that this first step has been achieved, let’s get right down to why I feel she is doing us all a service by existing and doing what she is doing.

The internet is flooded with polarised opinions about the 16-year-old who was given a stage at the United Nations to express her anger at the world leaders’ failure to urgently address climate change. While some are saying her speech brought tears to their eyes, others felt personally insulted by her manufactured “drama”. Either way, she has your attention and that’s important.

Fun Fact: In 2018-19, as many as 2,400 Indians lost their lives to extreme weather events such as floods and cyclones, according to the environment ministry. The India Meteorological Department says these events are increasing in both frequency and intensity.

Sorry about the interruption but I wanted to exploit your attention there. Moving on…

Thunberg is a girl who has managed to become the face of the fight against climate change and inspired millions of people across the world to march for saving the planet. Scientists, activists, researchers and (some) politicians have been screaming about the imminent dangers of this phenomenon but they were mostly ignored. Sometimes, celebrities took time out to say a word or two about it. Their fans showered them with praise and care for doing so, until the celebs made statements about another issue they wanted to highlight. None of these people started protests on a global scale, though. Just look at the images and videos flooding the internet from around the world.

Protests are underway in Spain, Munich, New Zealand, Bathinda (that’s in India, yes), Helsinki, Osaka, Ho Chi Minh City, Mumbai, and even Ljubljana in Slovenia. A name you might not be able to pronounce but which is now associated with #ClimateStrike. Tell me the last time you saw people marching for a singular cause around the world? When they united for the sake of humanity as a whole?

While you think about this, here’s another fun fact: a rise in global temperatures of 1.5 degrees Celsius will disproportionately affect countries like India because of the huge population and inequality. Deadly heatwaves could soon become the norm, with Kolkata and Karachi likely to be the worst affected.

Thank you for your attention. Moving on…

I don’t need to tell you that we live in a world which loves drama. Every piece of content produced and projected onto your screens is designed to fight for your attention. We live in a world where your attention is a commodity that contributes to the growth of the economy. So when a teen like Thunberg comes along, with her angry exasperated speech, acknowledging that she’s privileged but still asks, “how dare you do this to us?”, well, she makes space for herself in this otherwise vapid attention economy. An economy that is so obsessed with buying and selling products that it tends to forget the consequences of all this buying and selling.

The one group of people Thunberg seems to have angered the most are older folks, specifically “uncles”. Wait, before you start frothing and throw a “how dare you call me an uncle?” at my face, I acknowledge that I’m entering uncle territory myself. I have had my share of “uncle, please throw the ball back” moments, and they’re only growing as the years progress. So, as a person entering the uncle club, let me tell the older members of my club to just…stop and listen for a change. Just throw the ball back with a smile at those kids instead of feeling personally insulted.

Wait. Check out these fun maps. Down to Earth has mapped out how climate change will affect central and peninsular India, the country’s coast and islands, desert regions, the Indo-Gangetic plain and the Himalayas. All in separate maps. They’ll make great WhatsApp forwards along with an outrageous hot take about Greta Thunberg and emojis.

Again, thank you for your attention! OK, I’m almost done…

Other than hating a child less than half their age for challenging them, there are uncles who are telling her to focus on other issues. You know, like the torture of children in Muslim countries. It’s typical whataboutery that entails: (a) telling people to care about issues the uncles care about more; (b) not really caring about these issues enough to highlight them on their own.

What stops them from screaming day and night about the torture of children in Syria or child trafficking in West Bengal? Is their insecurity so immense that they need a teenager, whom they hate, to start caring about it so they can raise it in the right forums?

Oh, wait, there is also someone like Malala Yousafzai whom angry Uncles have started hating recently. She spoke out about atrocities in Kashmir, so obviously she’s no longer the poster child of injustices meted out to people in Muslim countries because, “How dare you talk about Kashmir, you overrated child activist?”

Last fun fact: A World Bank report released in June 2018 said climate change could cost India 2.8 per cent of its GDP and lower the living standards of nearly half of its population by 2050. 

Thank you for your contribution to the attention economy. It’s for the Greta good, after all.

Thunberg has done all of us a favour. She’s making the world take notice of a global problem. It’s not like if India takes severe measures to deal with climate change (which we actually are), it will save us from catastrophe. You know why? Because there are richer countries with an Annoying Orange for a president who just doesn’t believe in climate change. They’ll keep polluting, they’ll keep growing, they’ll keep exploiting the environment and poorer countries like ours will suffer.

Angry uncles of India, you might think Greta Thunberg is annoying, non-emotive, a giant left-wing conspiracy, mentally ill, should go back to school, and leave the adult things to adults, but she’s doing us a favour. She’s drawing attention to a global problem that desperately needs our attention.

Just like I tried to, in my own little way, in this piece.

Who knows, maybe, #ClimateStrike will force humankind to think as one giant organic blob, fighting for survival, and to actually do something about it — now.