Sing Us A Song Oh Sahara Shri

Subrata Roy answers SEBI with a song on his lip. Wondering what we’re talking about? Read on.

WrittenBy:Rajyasree Sen
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Subrata Roy has always had a love for songs – and bleached blonde singers. But who knew that the great Sahara Shri, was a fan of Mike and the Mechanics and Paul Carrack? The band’s song has obviously acted as inspiration for Subrata Roy’s latest move in the comedy of the absurd.

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Now we all know that Sahara Shri is an emotional sort. After all, each of his ads clearly states that it is “an emotional appeal”. So it’s no wonder that Subrata-da decided to sing long and clear, as a sign of his love for the country and of course to prove that he’s been made a victim of, the poor chap. As we were informed through another “emotional appeal” yesterday, May 6, 2013, Subrata-da had instructed his entire Pariwar, extended and immediate, to stop in their tracks at 10am and belt out the national anthem.

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After all, if you can’t rationalise with the SEBI, you can at least force your minions to stand at attention and sing like there’s no tomorrow. And get a Guinness World Record as a cherry on the cake. After Veena Mallik’s record for most kisses in one minute, this is my new favourite Guinness World Record.

According to an update on Sahara Samay’s website, “Lakh of employees of Sahara India Pariwar sang the National Anthem together at one time, one place to create a new Guinness World Record on its annual Bharat Bhawna Divas on Monday, May 6, 2013. Workers sang the national anthem in one uniform, at the same time from different places. In all more than 11 Lakh Sahara workers sang together from 4512 Sahara Offices spread across India. Apart from regiments of the Indian Army across seven states, many student, schools and corporate organisations sang the national anthem together. The event was organised so that the whole world can witness the ‘Emotional integration, National integration of the Indians’.”

This is so bizarre, I don’t really need to comment on it – because no comment can do it justice. And what is it with Bengalis and people from Bengal and their absurd responses when dealing with charges of financial irregularity? There’s Mamata urging people to start smoking because the taxes will pay back the Sharada chit fund victims. Then there’s Sudipta Sen who is singing like a canary in jail, and before that penned one of the worst written tomes I’ve ever had the misfortune to read. Then, of course, there’s Arindam Chaudhuri, whose only response to any accusation is to invest in some more gel and another velvet suit. And Vijay Mallya who every time there’s a cricket match his team is playing, finds a few more lakhs and pays another portion of a month’s salary to his employees while his son pouts on Kingfisher Calendar Girl Hunt.

But hats off to Subrata-da for coming up with a novel idea to confuse the SEBI who must be watching this video and wondering where they can lay a hand on what Sahara Shri’s been smoking while cooking up these PR initiatives.

I have to admit though, that his workforce is like a veritable little army. Maybe he should just storm Raisina Hill and take over Pranab-da’s palace?

Anyway, one can be certain that he’s definitely managed to confuse the SEBI, who might let him off on grounds of temporary insanity. In the meantime, in honour of my Bengali brethren, I’ve tweaked Subrata-da’s inspirational song. Now play this loud and sing along with Subrata, and be sure to sing it loud, sing it clear:

I know that I’m a prisoner
To all the SEBI held so dear
I know that I’m a hostage
To all their hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told them in the living years

Crumpled bits of paper
Filled with imperfect thought
Stilted conversations
I’m afraid that’s all we’ve got

I say I just don’t see it
SEBI says it’s perfect sense
I just can’t get agreement
In this present tense
We all talk a different language
Talking in defence

Say it loud, say it clear
I can listen as well as I hear
It’s too late when we die
To admit we don’t see eye to eye

So we open up a quarrel
Between the present and the past
We only sacrifice the future
It’s the bitterness that lasts

So I won’t yield to the fortunes
I sometimes see as fate
It may have a new perspective
On a different day
And if I don’t give up, and don’t give in
I may just be OK.

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